2010 Albums of the Year

Athlete, Bon Iver, Brandon Flowers, Free Energy, Fake Problems, Jonsi, Kings of Leon, Meese, Mumford and Sons, The National, Neon Trees, Phil Wickham, She & Him, A Rocket to the Moon, Taking Back Sunday, Two Door Cinema Club, Valencia, Gungor, Hellogoodbye, House of Heroes, Something Corporate, Civil Twilight, A Day to Remember, Zac Brown Band.

All of these bands put out great records this year and that doesn't include other albums that could be on other's lists. It was such a great year for music and I was inspired by a lot of these albums, some for their music and composing, others for their lyrical content. I picked a few fun albums, some new bands, some old ones. But the quality they all share is that I love the entire cd. None of it goes unlistened to. So here are my Top 10 Albums of the year.

10. Free Energy - Stuck On Nothing

9. Jonsi - Go

8. Phil Wickham - Heaven and Earth

7. Kings of Leon - Come Around Sundown

6. Hellogoodbye - Would It Kill You?

5. Athlete - Black Swan

4. Taking Back Sunday - Live From Orensanz

3. Neon Trees - Habits

2. Brandon Flowers - Flamingo

1. Mumford and Sons - Sigh No More

Favorite Songs of 2010

It's that time of year. Not only is it time for school to be over for awhile but it's time to countdown my favorite albums and songs of the year. Albums this year will be harder than what songs are on my list. There were so many good albums that I enjoyed listening to that I am probably leaving some out. However, the songs I have had cycling throughout the past year are pretty obvious to me. I can't put them in a specific order but I can choose my favorites. So here are my favorite songs of this year, 2010. What do you think?

Finding Something to Do by Hellogoodbye
Superhuman Touch by Athlete
Airplanes pt. 2 by B.O.B. feat. Haley Williams and Eminem
Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas by Brandon Flowers
Free Energy by Free Energy
Beautiful Things by Gungor
Back Down South by Kings of Leon
Growing Up by The Maine
Excuses by The Morning Benders
A Lifeless Ordinary by Motion City Soundtrack
Animal by Neon Trees
Ridin' California by Paper Tongues
All The Single Ladies by A Rocket to the Moon
Colder Weather by Zac Brown Band
Love the Way You Lie pt. 1 and 2. by Eminiem feat. Rihanna
The Golden State by Abandon Kansas
Sigh No More by Mumford and Sons*

I know this album was released in 2009 but come on, we all fell in love with them this year. Enjoy the good music. My albums list will be up as soon as I can get the order down!

The Happy List

I started walking at night the past week. It gives me great time to think about things like life, school, love, friends, ect. Tonight the stars were at their best. Bright, crisp, it was cloud-free and there was a nice soft moon. This thought was more from last night but tonight I continued my thoughts on the subject. I was trying to decide what makes me happy? What makes you happy? Are they tangible feelings? Is it something that I can buy? Something I can put into a thought or put my finger on? I guess the easiest way to get it all out is to just make a big list of things that make me happy. This list is by no means official, complete or anything of that nature. Just random ideas that pop up.
- Music
-Stars
-Donald Miller Books
-The Kansas countryside
-Teaching kids
-Playing music
-My friends
-My Family
-Thinking deep thoughts
-The Look of Apple products
-Driving
-Colorado
-Riding trails on my bike
-Skinny Jeans
-Hoodies
-Pandas
-Pillow top mattresses
-Down blankets
-Sweats over shorts
-Concerts
-Reading
-Fantasy Football
-Cleaning

That's the list for now. Did I miss anything? What makes you happy??

Mixed Bag of Topics

I looked up some topics to write about because I wanted some fresh ideas. Instead of writing at length about just one topic I thought maybe I would write about just a few topics. What do you think? Sound okay? Alrighty then. Let's begin....

The book that changed my life: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
The Last Lecture reminds the readers how to lead a more fulfilling and inspired life each day. It is based on a lecture by Randy Pausch about how to reach your childhood dreams. He gave the lecture after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Check it out.

Am I superstitious?
No but I am a little stitious. Ha. I have had many times in my life where I have been very superstitious, usually pertaining to sports. Same socks, same routine, same prayer, shoes laced in a specific way.....and so on. I don't have many superstitions these days but I do have a pair of underwear that I consider lucky. No clue if they are though.

My First Kiss:
It was Jessica Lenhart in 2002. I remember it was during a movie at my parents house. I can remember what she was wearing and that it went better than I thought it would.

My favorite place on this planet:
Well I haven't been to all the places I would love to go but so far it would be Grand Lake, Colorado, as many of you know. If I wanted to get specific I would say the Big Medow along the Adam's Falls hiking trail just outside of town.

The song I couldn't live without:
This one is hard because there are so many styles, genres, moods. I will just go with some songs that I consider go-to songs. They would include: Luckie Street by Cartel, Days Like Masquarades by The Academy Is..., Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer, Jamie All Over by Mayday Parade, Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons, Konstantine by Something Corporate and Everything Must Go (Live from Orensanz) by Taking Back Sunday.

Why I love my hometown:
I love Clay Center, Ks because of the small town feel of it and the scenery. It's a beautiful town with lots of great trees. It is perfect to raise a family and has a pretty good academic district.

Why I don't like my hometown:
Some of the reasons I like my hometown are the same reasons I don't like it. It's small at at least an hour away from a Wal-Mart. Lawrence, a town I love to visit, is over two hours away. It also suffers from what I consider high school cliches. Rumors fly everywhere, you can't do anything without your neighbor knowing.

That will be all for now I think. I don't want to reveal too much about myself of course. I've got to stay mysterious!

As we pass the IHOP

I'm struggling to come up with an idea to write about today. I just can't get my mind to settle on a singular topic that I find interesting or that is deep enough to write about. I want to sit here and think about something important but then again, I don't.
In Lit this week we talked about poetry again, and in particular we talked about an elegy. And elegy is something you write to remember someone who has died. Of course we read one about someone who lost their grandfather which made me remember Blackie. It's hard to believe it was almost seven years ago that he passed away. I can remember those days and the hospital and that night that we all slept there. The smells, sounds, the faces of the nurses. I can remember the songs we sang as a family to make sure the last thoughts we had were happy. we cried a little but mostly we celebrated. We celebrated my grandpa because he lived his life until the very end and he lead a full life.
I left the room to let the adults that were there say their goodbyes, his sons and daughters, my Grandma. It was hard to say goodbye knowing that I would never see or talk to him again but I knew that he was going to a place where he would stay forever, waiting to welcome us home, one by one. I gave him a hug, kissed him on his cheek and said my goodbyes. Blackie had me lean over and whispered in my ear "Always do you best. Never give up." Those words didn't always ring throughout me like they should have. Sometimes it takes adversity to remember that those you love will always give the needed advice.
I talked to Blackie before every sporting event I participated in. I carved his initials in my shoulder pads, wrote his name on all my shoes. I didn't take it as far as my Dad, who carried his ashes with him every game he coached. But it felt right, like he was there with us, watching and calling out the defense for us.
It's been so long since that night but it seems like just yesterday. I think about it all the time and I miss you greatly. I haven't always lived by your words but I still haven't given up. And because of you I hope that I never will.

Songs like this are easy to write

I knew the promise of hope, the hope of you and I
Was false hope, filled with false honesty,
And now that you've shown me the truth of you
I can now move on to the next beautiful girl I see

I have figured situations like this out by now
Enough to fill a book that would become a best-seller
But that knowledge doesn't mean a thing to your kind
You'll call when he leaves you deaf, dumb and blind




Songs like this are easy to read. Especially after this happens time after time.

Whirlwind

Today is saturday. I'm sure you are all aware of this. I know I am. I am so very aware of this because, per my usual routine, I should be asleep right now; not up, wide awake and done with breakfast. It is my weekend to bring Eli to Manhattan for his Excel classes on the K-State campus. It usually makes for a long day. However, this morning I am sitting in Panera, enjoying their Wi-Fi and enjoying myself.

It's a dreary grey morning full of clouds and sprinkles. I was finding it hard to stay alert and in a good mood. It's a bed day is what this day is. I needed something to pick me up and keep my mind occupied, something worthwhile. I tried reading Sex God by Rob Bell but it just wasn't hitting the spot today. So instead I decided to watch the some of the videos in the Nooma series. My favorite is Whirlwind, which we watched in one of my very first 24 Feet whorships. This is the idea behind the Whirwind video:

A lot of us have gone through times in our lives that are difficult. Some have been small and hard to understand and some have been big and overwhelming. During these times we want answers don't we? We want to know why. Why do we have to suffer? Why do bad things happen to good people? We just want someone to make sense of it all. But we don't always get the answers, do we? Sometimes we are left wondering. And those can be some of the most difficult times. maybe there are times we need to be released from having to have all the answers. And maybe it's when we're released that we are able to see there may be more going on here than we realize.

It's a great video. It's so plain and simple yet I find myself unable to take my eyes off of Rob as he walks and speaks. It's powerful. If you haven't seen Everything Is Spiritual by Rob Bell I highly suggest you go watch it. Brock has it and I'm sure he would love to watch it with you. I find myself forgetting sometimes that we don't always need the answers in life. Sometimes we just need to have faith that we aren't in control and can't be in control. Give in to that feeling.

Wise Words from Mumford and Sons

It's been a weekend of thinking for me. Just about life. About school, life, relationships, money, etc. Life for me is good. I shouldn't complain or make it seem as bad as I do sometimes. It's all about the perspective I put it in. I have friends, free time, a computer, iPod, music, etc. Sure, there are always things that I would like to have in my life that I think would make it better but I need to remember that maybe they wouldn't. Would a new Mac Pro actually make my life easier or simpler? No. But man, that would be awesome to have, right?

I guess to put relationships in perspective I will use this line from "Timshel" by Mumford and Sons. "But I can't move the mountains for you." As much as I want to date person A or B I should realize that, while they would make my life better, more interesting and probably make me happier in general, they can't do everything. They can't put money in my bank account, give me good grades or get me closer to my friends on the weekends. I have too many expectations for people in my life sometimes. I think that a certain person can make me happier all the time when I should know better. I DO know better but I get blinded by the fact that people are always looking for companionship.

Having those lofty expectations will sink a relationship in the end. Thinking that someone can do too much for you puts them in a position they can't win. If I told you that you are the only thing that makes me happy, what happens if you are having a bad day and just can't make others happy? When you need someone to make YOU happy. We all have those days, right? I've done this many times and I've come to understand that it's the most unhealthy thing in a relationship. It's so hard just to enjoy the fact that a person is there, and you can enjoy their company and friendship. Because isn't that the point of being in a relationship? At one point you realized that you were such good friends that you wanted there to be more.

I guess the point of this entry is to just remember that your significant other can't move mountains for you, asking them to do that is unfair to both of you. It's selfish. It's hard to enjoy something that has become a common occurrence and something you take for granted. How easy is it to forget that feeling of getting a text and hoping it's her/him? How easy is it to forget knowing that someone is always there for you, no matter what? When you get that feeling, don't let it go. Because one day, you'll sit here like I am, wishing for that feeling, but also knowing that it can't move your mountains, but it can always help you move them.

From the Mouth of John Mayer

"It's been a long night in New York City, it's been a long time since 22."
-John Mayer

The last two weeks of my life have been pretty wonderful. It has been filled with times spent with great friends and on the road a lot. The highlight was definitely seeing John Mayer in concert. It was just a fabulous experience seeing him in person. I love his music and have heard how his shows are much better than any other and I must say, I wasn't disappointed. It wasn't far and away the best show I've seen but as far as the musicianship in concerned, he blew everyone else away. He could use a better stage and lights designer. Maybe he could use the same one as Coldplay.

One of the reasons John Mayer is so good is because he seems so gracious on stage. He may be an asshole, I've never met him, but on stage he seems genuine and thankful for his fans. He also rambles quite a bit about love and life and finding happiness. It really allows the crowd to see what he is like and hear what's on his mind, which isn't something a lot of artists will do in front of thousands of people. It really makes you engage as his audience I think.

Edge of Desire is my favorite JM song, at least since it came out. I was lucky enough to hear it as the encore of his set which thrilled me to no end. As he picked the intro to the song a few times over he talked about Love. He had rambled a little about Love earlier in the set and so I wasn't sure where it was going. It was the friday of Labor Day weekend so everyone was lucky enough to have a 3-day weekend ahead of them, so John decided that this would be a good idea: He implored the audience to call or text someone. We've all Loved someone, been Loved, wanted to Love or are in Love with someone. He told the audience to let someone know that you were thinking about them and that you wanted to go away for the weekend, that for just 72 hours you should spend your time together.

I wish this were possible. I wish life were this easy. I wish people could just send a text that says hey, I like you, let's go somewhere and hang out, get to know each other. I wish that's the way Love worked. It rarely does though. Love is something that is unique and complicated. Love isn't easy. Finding Love isn't easy. Keeping Love is even harder.

Most of the Same

It's been a long time since I've been on this thing and I apologize, mostly to myself for ignoring my blog. I've needed to write out ideas and thoughts badly but I have just found myself going to friends for those needed vent sessions instead. That's not a bad thing but sometimes just writing down ideas helps as well. A lot has transpired in my life in the last month I've been away and I can say that it has been a happy month.

I had two vacations that were a nice break from work and the monotonous end of summer weeks that had crept in around the time I was done working for the school. The mountains were beautiful and serene. It was a great time spent driving and thinking about how the next few years should go for me. I can't ever seem to go a few days without wishing I were in the mountains, sitting my the stream or in a meadow just enjoying the sights and sounds. Right now I'm missing them badly.

School is now in full swing and it's a little terrifying. I've been overwhelmed at times and comfortable as well. I feel like I'm more prepared this time than I was last time around and that makes it a little easier. The long breaks in between classes have provided me the time to get work done so that my nights are free from the stresses of homework. It is such a different environment here than I have experienced at Emporia State. I spent my first day between classes just watching people and writing about it. I wish it were more like ESU but I prefer the class size and professors here.

As usual I have been listening to lots of music and finding new stuff. Nothing really exciting but it's always nice to have new stuff on my trips to class. Pilot has another show coming up which is pretty exciting. I'm looking forward to playing the songs we're playing. They are fun and upbeat songs. I'm terrified to sing though. It's been years since I have sang into a microphone in front of others. I will enjoy it once the day gets here.

So I guess that is it for now. Nothing real deep or thoughtful. I'll try and do that kind of post soon though. For myself mostly. With LOVE.

Life on the river

"As I'm looking to the sky to count the stars, I wonder if you see them where you are?" This line has been stuck in my head all day long. I usually think about it when we're swimming because the stars are out but I woke up with it in my head this morning and you haven't left my thoughts. It's not a bad thing at all though.

It's been a good week with no internet, cable or telephone, although I have used my phone and the internet now and then. Not having them in my life has helped out quite a bit getting things accomplished. The best feeling has been getting my desk set back up. Eli has had it since I moved home and it's great to have it ready for school.

My reading has gone very well too. Crazy Love is such a wonderful book. One of my fellow Jamoreer's read the chapter I was on as well and she really enjoyed it as well. We had a good talk regarding life and death. I took a nice walk around the big barn gazing at the stars and wondering why I'm living the life that I am and why I've been put in the situations that I've been put it. Deep stuff, I know. It was a great weekend with friends and I had a good experience. I could stand to have a few less people though.

After hanging out with 50 people, drinking a little, dancing a lot and generally having a good time I can't help but think that I have a blessed life. I have friends that I care deeply for, I have a family that supports me and that enables me to be the best person I can be. I've made some horrible decisions in my life but every day I wake up feeling like I'm learning from them and at least I'm trying to change my life and make it better.

I can't help but wonder if some of those people on the Jamboree will be there next year. As Crazy Love states:

"But it's easy to think about today as just another day. An average day where you go about life concerned with your to-do list, preoccupied by appointments, focused on family, thinking about your desires and needs."

Some of my friends don't make smart decisions and I'm so afraid one day it will lead to an early exit for them from this earth. Heck, it almost happened saturday on the river. "You might not make it through today." Some people don't consider their actions and the consequences they will reap the next day. While I understand the need for letting loose and having fun (I've done this more than necessary) there comes a time in one's life where responsibility takes over. About half the people this weekend haven't grown up enough. One day I will be floating the river in remembrance to those friends and hopefully helping others make better decisions.

Be smart, be safe, have fun. I hear that every time I leave my house to go visit friends from my parents. To the point and just the necessary information. That's why I love them. They pray I'll make the right choices and get home safe and sound. One day I want to tell my child that and know it will be okay.

Be still, and know.

Now Playing: For Emma by Bon Iver.

30 Hardest Days of My Life

Today was a big day for me. I made a huge decision in my life that I'm hoping will lead towards a better time, a happier time, a more content time. I decided to give up my cell phone, internet, television and most importantly social media for 30 days. Brock and I talked about this a few times and it always seemed like a good idea but never something that would I would be able to go through with. On my drive from Lawrence to Salina today I had a friend tell me that she spent too much time on her phone and not enough time working on her own life. That was all I needed to decide to go through with it.

At 24 Feet tonight we watched a NOOMA video called Noise. Watch it please. It re-affirmed my belief that this was something I needed to do in my life, especially before school starts. I will use my house phone for people needing to get ahold of me because I don't want to inconvenience anyone much more than needed. 632-3751. Feel free to call. Also, one of the things I'm excited for is writing letters. I plan on writing letters daily about what I'm reading that day, what my thoughts are and such. I love writing and sending letters but it just isn't the thing to do these days. I'm bringing it back.

To go along with this I have a few books to read, including Crazy Love by Francis Chan, The Shack and The Purpose Driven Life. The point of thise is to work on what I need to change in my life and to hopefully find a better reason for the life I lead. I'll also break one rule and use internet to hopefully update my blog. For only that reason though. Wish me luck as I attempt to lead a different and hopefully more fulfilling life for a month. God Bless.

"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

Another Year full of Memories

So it's been 365 days since my last birthday. Well 364 but that's not the point. It's been a long year in my life but one that has turned out to be a blessing. As I've spent the last few days by myself contemplating all of those days that I spent on this Earth I came to a few realizations.

1. Every time I think that my parents are the best parents I could ask for they make me realize that I was right, but that they do more than I ever know. I don't tell them I love them enough and I'm not always the best son but I wouldn't ever change who my parents are. Hopefully one day I can show them that the investment they've made over 25 years wasn't for naught.

2. Every time I think that my friends are the best friends I could ask for they make me realize I was right, but they are even better than could have hoped for. The last year of my life was a struggle physically and mentally and I couldn't have made it through if it weren't for my support system (Brett, Craig, Brock, Dane, Christy and others) I would be pretty miserable. Whether it's playing music with Brock and Dane or golfing with the guys I'm always amazed at how God has put these different people in my life.

3. I have growing to do. Most people can list off their faults and know what they do wrong and I'm one of those people. I won't go through and list them but I do know what my weak points are. Getting ready to go back to school made me realize that I've still got more of my old self in me than I really want. Some days it's a struggle to make the necessary changes stick but I just pray that one day I will be the person I want to be.

I keep looking back at all the memories I've made since July 8th of last year and there are so many. Here are a few that I will never forget.........

Trail riding in Lawrence, Driving in the mountains alone, Back surgery, Abandon Kansas concerts, Lego Costumes, 24 Feet, Winfield, All Time Low, Passion Pit, Mayday Parade, Call of Duty, PowerBall mania, 30 Hour Famine, Hawk Mud Fest and Riley.

I lead a blessed life that I never appreciate enough. Thank you to everyone who has been involved in my life because without all of you I wouldn't be a happy camper (or just a camper).

"I've met great friends, I've seen great times, I've been in love and I've seen love die, But nothing's as good as when I close my eyes and feel that road that's led me through this life, It's a good life that's kept me on my feet.....I'll take a chance on every breathe like it's my last. Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights we stay up until the sun would rise, No matter how far you get I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down."
The Good Life by Valencia

You.

I felt the need to blog so I thought I would ask a friend what I should write about. She suggested herself. She's had a few drinks I'm fairly certain but I decided to agree to her wishes and write about her. I have the slightest clue where to take this entry but I will attempt to take it somewhere. And off we go....
When I think of her music is my first thought. Amazing taste in music this girl has. I will be honest and say that I think it's hard to find a girl who shares the same taste in music that I do. I've typed about it before but it's true. The song that comes to mind is Daughters by John Mayer. First of all because she loves John Mayer and second because I think that it fits her pretty well. For those of you who don't know what the song is about, just go check it out. It fits a few girls in my life, this one in particular though.
This girl is beautiful. She is very naturally good-looking and although she thinks she has a weird nose, I have yet to notice it. Short blonde hair. Gets me every time. She looks great dressed up or dressed down. Tan. Ball game.
I haven't seen her in ages and I wish we lived closer because both of us are pretty busy and can't seem to get away to visit the other. Also, she's never seen the mountains. HOLY COW! I almost asked her to come with my in July but know that she's also very busy and probably couldn't take 3 days off work. Even though it would be worth it.
So here's your entry Love, it's not much but it's from the heart. I could write more but it would get me in trouble. You are everything a guy could ask for. We have many great conversations and I will leave You with a quote that reminds me of one of them.....

"And Our Dreams Are Who We Are."

A Million Miles In A Thousand Years

I recently finished A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller. It is a wonderful book where the reader follows the author as he edits his life to see if it would be worthy of a movie. What he finds is that, like a movie, lives have memorable scenes as well. Your life may not be as exciting as a movie but that's because movies aren't real. Life doesn't happen like The Notebook or like The Hangover. Sure, each life will have memories like some scenes but your whole life cannot be that way. That's why we go to the movies and think "I wish my life was like that." It is, just not every day. Scenes in movies often take place in strange places.
One line that sticks out to me was near the end of the book and I would like to share it with you. "When we look back on our lives, what we will remember are the crazy things we did, the times we worked harder to make a day stand out." Like in the movies, you remember those memories you have while in a strange scene. You won't remember sitting a home on a saturday with your friends playing video games but you will remember sitting in a pasture during a lightning storm talking about why you love someone.

A Million Miles In A Thousand Years makes me want to leave right now, grab 3 friends and head any direction. We don't need to have a destination. That would be much more memorable than sitting here watching football (soccer) and typing on my computer. It makes me think of the song by Valencia called "The Good Life." Listen to it and read this book. They will change your life. That is the hope anyway.

Good Lovin' by Travis Clark

This song is a demo by Travis Clark, who is the lead singer of We The Kings. I love that it's just him and his guitar. That's all.

Verse 1
A small town boy meets a big city girl
In the summer sun, having fun
She fell in love, she can't believe it
The apple of his eye, she's the center of his world
But it breaks his heart when she takes the next flight
And why's she leaving good lovin'?

Verse 2
He says, I don't know what to do cause
I'm so in love with you
But we're miles apart, far away
But in my heart you'll always stay close to me
And I'll be close to you
Fall is a falling, he's really calling
What's a girl supposed to do?

Chorus
And go back, go back baby
Before it's too late, it's too late maybe
He's going to find him someone else
To get you off his mind
And that summer she thought it was nothing
But she was leaving good lovin'

Verse 3
So the story goes and he wonders why she chose
Does she take a chance, on true romance
Or spend the nights alone
She writes, I'll never ever love someone
The way that I love you
And in this whole world there's nothing more
That I want more than coming home to you

Outro
Small town boy and his small town girl, good lovin'

Say Cheese!

My good friend Christy filled out a photo survey earlier today and it's late, I'm bored, so why not?


1. Favorite Hobby?



I love music. Listening, playing, searching, dancing. It keeps me occupied and I enjoy finding new bands.

2. Favorite T.V. Show?

It's Always Sunny In Philidelphia. It makes me laugh everytime. Dexter is also right up there.

3. Favorite Restaurant Food?

I love a good steak or filet mignon but usually I just end up getting......

Chicken Strips.

4. Favorite thing to shop for?

Gap jeans or Gap clothes in general. Gap authentic jeans, slim/straight, 35/30. Bam.

Apple products always make me happy too.


5. Favorite Animal?

A moose. Or meece if it's a group.

However, Tigers will always be a close second.

6. Favorite Song?

The popular pick is Awake My Soul by Mumford And Sons this week. Also, January Wedding by The Avett Brothers always makes me happy.

7. Favorite word?

Love inspires so many feelings and thoughts that it's a hard word to beat.

8. Favorite recent youtube video?

I love watching the video of the Phillies fan who runs out on the field and ends up getting tased in the back. He totally deserved it.....in the face!

9. Favorite Movie?

Green Street Hooligans is one of my all time favorites. It's wonderful and not a lot of people have ever seen it.

10. Favorite childhood memory?

I will be the first to admit that I hated this car when I was growing up. Of course, my dad's didn't look anything like this one when I could remember it. It was loud and ugly. I've grown to admire it and I still wish my dad hadn't sold it. He wanted to bury it in the yard and I thought that was a wonderful idea.

The Greek System Part 1

I believe

in Sigma Pi, a fellowship of

kindred minds, united in

brotherhood to advance truth

and justice, to promote

scholarship, to encourage

Chivalry, to diffuse culture, and

to develop character, in the

service of God and man; and

I will strive to make real, the

fraternity's ideals in my own

daily life

A big part of my life at Emporia revolved around my fraternity, Sigma Pi. I took great pride in being apart of the greek system on campus and wore my letters with pride. I never thought I would be apart of that culture when I left home but something about it just drew me in. I had great friends who weren't involved in the fraternity and I'm closer to them today than most of my brothers but at the time there was just something about that brotherhood that called out to me. I joined and knew I wanted to be a leader in my house. After becoming an active member I was elected to be our Alumni Coordinator, or First Counselor on our Executive Council.

This is all happened right after our chapter was put on social probation by the university for allowing underage drinking in our house during a social event, or a party. We took our probation with a grain of salt and got through the year without any problems. In all honesty it probably brought us closer as a group. However, before our problems our alumni base was hardly helpful and after we got in trouble our help was gone. The job of an alumni board and group is to support the chapter and give advice and direction. They should work with the Executive Council to help lead the chapter. We didn't have that because our previous First Counselors failed to do their jobs and keep our wide base of graduates involved with the chapter.

After I left my position after one semester because of a combination of factors, and after I left the active chapter after another semester, things got chaotic and eventually we sold our fraternity house and barely kept any members. It was the choice of the alumni board without consulting our active chapter to move in these directions and cause a lot of turmoil within our group.

There are currently 5 active members of the Epsilon-Epsilon chapter of Sigma Pi on the campus at Emporia State with another 5 pledges and 2 neophytes. I'm very proud of the job our guys have done in the last two years saving our charter from being taken away. No chapter wants that. Last week our alumni board voted to purchase a property in Emporia. However, unlike the proposal I voted for and felt most strongly about, they decided to buy a new house for the men. I was in favor of purchasing a commercial property to use in a clubhouse sort of way. No one would live there but it would be a place for social gatherings and chapter meetings.

It would be something very new and different for the greek system at ESU. I think that would have given us an upper hand in getting new recruits because they wouldn't have to live in a big, gross house. I understand the frustration the current active members are feeling because I've been through it before. However, the decision has been made and that's all that can be done. I'm still thrilled for the men to have a property to put our letters on.

I have written all of this because my next entry will take a look at whether or not I think the greek system as a whole can grow at Emporia State. Our house is not the only house struggling on campus and I'm not sure that the future will bring growth or the demise of more charters.

Right On Time

Life is full of crazy sayings, crazy feelings and crazy thoughts. Here are two thoughts that keep playing in my mind (maybe because they are somehow connected): What would you do if you had 2 months to live? What would you do if you won $150 million? Most likely your answers will very a little between the two but with both most people will answer this way: you will give to those you love and spend time with them. You will have fun in life and not worry about the little things. Some days I think we forget just how lucky we are to be alive and full of thoughts and feelings. Some people aren't nearly so lucky as I am, when I wake up every day in a big bed and go to work and earn a living, albeit a small living.

Life can speed by and seem like a whirlwind. I'm usually spending my days trying to forget about work and I'm spending my nights trying to forget about problems. I always need to take time and relax and enjoy my time. Tonight was one of those nights. I spent a great deal of time talking with Brock about things that had been bugging me or things that I felt I needed to get off my chest. And he shared his thoughts as well. I feel like life needs to slow down. It seems like I moved home ages ago but it was just a year and a half. It's insane how fast time flies.

Listening to music as much as I do I will usually get stuck on certain songs or certain verses of songs and repeat them in my head and on my iPod. Here's the first one that I've been repeating: "They say that love is for the patient, Gotta plan for being restless for now." I think we, and especially me, get caught up in emotions and feelings. It's hard to step back and contemplate things when you are getting swept up in texts and chats and you can lose sight of what you really feel. However, I tend to do that and then I tend to go overboard with analyzing things. Blah. That's a ramble for another day.

"I wish that you would show me that you'll be right on my time" On my drive home tonight I popped in an old cd of O.A.R. that always used to get me through my drives from Emporia to home on those long nights. I listened to my usual songs first and then this one came on, and "Right On Time" is a song I always forget about, but it always reminds me that, no matter what, everything will always be right on time. You may not realize it now but in the end everything will happen when it should. So if you are waiting for that person to text you or waiting for a date or waiting to meet someone, just remember that it will all happen right on your time.

A Beautiful Girl

So I haven't made an entry in quite awhile. 2 months to be exact. Sorry. No one reads this anyway. A lot has happened in the last two months of my life and I'm sure most of you know the details so I won't bore you with them. Lots of good with some bad. However, that's life. I'm usually an optimist. That may change when I go in tomorrow to pay taxes and tags on Riley. Boo. Today while at work I listened to a mix of Taking Back Sunday, Alkaline Trio, Brand New and some other stuff because Craig made it sound like a good thing, and it was. One particular song by Taking Back Sunday caught my attention, or at least the intro to their song Great Romances of the 20th Century. I've been meaning to post this spoken introduction for months. Seriously, it's been on my iPod list of blog ideas since Jan. 29th. So finally I will type it out for you. Think about it. It's a very true thing.

"A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you've been drinking Jack and Coke all morning. She can make you feel high, full of the single greatest commodity known to man: promise. Promise of a better day, promise of a greater hope, promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl. In her smile and in her soul, in the way she makes every rotten little thing about life seem like it's going to be okay."

P90X: Day 2

The X in P90X. That's how they describe Plyometrics X. For those of you who don't know what plyometrics is, let me enlighten you. Plyo is jump training. So Plyo X is an hour of squat jumps, tire tire Heisman and jumping the creek looking quite gay. I woke up actually looking forward to doing this workout. I have a very strong lower body and my upper body is, well, let's just say I've earned the nickname Peter Griffin. Day 1 killed me. I felt good though all day yesterday. However, today is a new day. I woke up feeling like I had sandbags on my arms. And at well past midnight my arms still hurt. So 11 am came around, all the furniture was moved and guess what? My Plyo X dvd did. not. work. The old me would have given up on the day and just said it was meant to be a rest day. The somewhat determined me decided I needed to get Christy's copy and do it after work. So that's what I did. And I'm one hurting man.

My diet is going well I think. I cut back more food again today because I just felt like yesterday I had way too much to eat. I need to make sure I keep my eating schedule the same because today I wasn't as good with that. Other than that the first two days have gone well. Tomorrow is Chest and Arms or something like that. Boo.

P90X: Day 1

So here we go again. It's time for me to start P90x. The last time I tried it I failed because I had back problems. Day 1 was today and it sucked. Badly. Give me lower body workouts any day of the week over upper body. I hadn't done a push up in 7 months. Now I have done more than I care for. I do feel good though. It will be difficult to get through 90 days but I am determined....right now anyway. I'm also attempting the diet, which isn't so bad actually. It's a lot of protein and then a little of everything else. Here's my meal list for today. During phase 1 all my meals will generally look the same, with my snacks the same thing every day.

Breakfast: 6 ounces of Ham, 1 Banana, 8 ounces of Skim Milk
Snack: Small Gatorade, 2 tablespoons of Peanut Butter and 1 Cup of Celery
Lunch: 9 ounces of baked Chicken, 2 cups of Carrots, 1 Apple, 8 ounces of Skim Milk
Snack: 8 ounces of Chocolate Milk, 10 ounces of Cottage Cheese
Supper: 6 ounces of Pork Chop, 1 tablespoon of olive oil, 1 medium potato, 4 tbsp of BBQ sauce

It's quite a bit healthier than what I've been eating and it's still a decent portion of food. Once I hit phase 2 my protein will drop a little and my dairy will as well. I'm pretty excited to start this "diet" and so we'll see how this progresses.

Random thoughts on relationships

Most of you who read this, if not all of you, know my current situation in my personal life. I'm not sure what it's classified as but, whatever "it" is, you know where I stand. So during the past couple of months I've thought a lot about relationships and everything that goes along with them. It has been quite a long time since I've dated anyone and for the longest time I didn't want to. I wasn't ready to let anyone else in. I've been ready for awhile now but there just wasn't anyone I felt comfortable enough around. I'm not sure if this will all work out but it's got the wheels put in motion and so I wanted to just write a few things that are spinning around up in my head.

I've heard it many times before but there's an old saying and it states "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." I'm not sure if this always holds true but if two people in a relationship care for each other then yes, I think that can happen. Being in a relationship with someone over a distance of significance, which I think is over 30 minutes, is hard work. It's honestly like another job. I've been in one before and that relationship grew leaps and bounds while we were away from each other and even more so when we were together. But some people aren't willing to put in the work.

Being away from each other is the reason it's hard work. There are more obstacles in being away from each other. When you have a hard day that person isn't there. When you need a hug you can't get one. When you want to give a hug, there's no one there to receive it. It's hard to fulfill what you need out of a relationship emotionally if you aren't willing to work. It's hard to fulfill your needs physically without that person around on a regular basis. There's no words to describe what a simple look can do for a person when you're having a terrible day.

However, just because that void may be there, that doesn't mean you cannot build a solid relationship. It is my belief that it is easier to find out if a relationship will work out in the long run if you can stay together while you are apart. You can foster a better communication because there is so much to convey every day. You have to be able to talk to each other in order for a relationship to work. You must also have trust. Nothing builds trust or ruins trust like being apart.

Those are just a few of my thoughts that were running through my mind. "Brick walls are not put up to keep us from something, Brick walls are put up to show us how much we want something"

Things to work on this week pt. 2

So I thought I would update everyone on my progress from earlier in the week. I have done well on the exercise part. I want to get in one to two more days if I stay in town this weekend and that would be a good start. I haven't decided on what to do this weekend but I imagine I will stay at home. I have been good at keeping my fingernails on my fingers but there's still a few days left. I'm still working at it. That's about all I've accomplished this week. I've still got time to work on my list so we'll see how it goes.

Things to work on this week....

Things to work on this week....
-Work out 3-4 times. I ran a mile and a half tonight. Kempo in the morning.
-Not chew my fingernails.
-Get through some new music including Mutemath, Motion City Soundtrack and Friendly Fires.
-Wash my car.
-Nail down my plans for the weekend.
-Finish cleaning my "Man Cave"
-Finish reading "The Last Lecture"

I'm re-reading The Last Lecture for the second time. It's a very powerful book and I started making the parts that I thought were most important. Randy Pausch gives great advice to the reader and it's very inspiring. Try reading it sometime.

My Perfect Woman

My attempt in this blog is to try and write an entry every day or at least every other day. I know there will be times that I fail to keep up when my life gets buys, so just on the weekends. However, during the week I am usually free. Tonight I decided to pick a topic that takes some thought and I'm not sure where I got this topic from but it has been rattling in my brain for a week or so. I wanted to try and answer what my perfect woman would be like. I will attempt to answer this question as best that I can. Here we go....

I must start with the things in my life that mean the most to me. One thing that didn't work out in my favor in my last relationship was our differing views on music. This didn't seem like a huge deal but I found out that it is a huge deal. The spectrum of music that I enjoy is about as wide as anyone that I know. I listen to everything and have certain mood music that I just have to listen to sometimes. I need a gal who can listen to many different genres of music and who loves to go to concerts, both big and small. I would prefer someone who is into more alternative and indie music because most of the time that's what I listen to. Country is fine, pop is fine, rock is fine. Rap, eh. Maybe. I enjoy to dance and sing. I would love to date a woman who is the same way!

Many of you may have noticed, but I can be very introverted at times. I do love going out with friends and going out on the town to the movies or shopping. It's always a fun thing to do. However, I love to be alone and read, write, listen to music, nap, just chill sometimes. Finding an independent woman is pretty important to me. Someone who is logical and loves to read and write. If I can sit in a room and read and have a woman who can be in the same room reading would be awesome!

Sports are another thing that I love. I follow sports as closely as I follow music. It's just a part of my life. I don't need to be with someone who is a sports junkie by any means. If a woman can sit down and watch sports every once in awhile that is great. If they don't like sports as much as I do that is quite all right. We don't need to be playing on softball teams together, but going to sporting events is a fun thing to do every once in awhile.

I've gone through my life without a direction as far as what I wanted to do for the rest of life and most of you know that. As I start having a better grasp on that I can understand how not knowing what you want to do can strain a relationship. So knowing that, a woman who is passionate about whatever it is she wants to do is a must. I don't care about how much money she makes or the hours she keeps. As long as she is happy doing it then that's great. Sometimes the jobs that pay the least are the most satisfying.

Other than the things listed above there's not a definite yay or ney that I find a must. Of course finding someone you are attracted to is usually how things go. The more common things you have is usually better, but I also love to have someone who is interested in the things I'm not because it's fun to get into new things. I'm definitely not picky when it comes to hair, although I've always dated brunettes. That's just how the dice have landed so far. Oh and one last semi-important thing: if a woman can play with my hair I am sold. Or play the guitar.

2010 and Beyond

So every year people make resolutions, a list of things they want to change about themselves. On paper that seems like a wonderful idea full of promise. However, people rarely hold themselves to the changes they want to make. The reasons for this are simple. We are creatures of habit and there is usually no one to hold us to our "resolutions." It's just too hard to simply tell yourself you will change and have it actually happen. We all fail at this so don't feel too bad about yourself and your will power when you don't actually uphold the changes you want to make.

The other weekend I saw one of my favorite bands, Abandon Kansas play a show down in Wichita and at this show their singer Jeremy Spring talked a little about resolutions and how people fail at them. He told the audience that they shouldn't be afraid to fail because they will. No one is perfect. The key is in how you attempt the changes you want to make. Trying to wake up one day and be a changed person won't work. However, if you wake up each day and tel yourself "Today I won't......" then you are more likely to make changes slowly. And when you fail one day you can start over the next day.

The ideas Jeremy talked about stuck with me and so each day I wake up with something that I want to work on. So far I have succeeded in most things I've tried to work on. There are some things that I want to work on this year and so I will list them off, in no particular order of course.

-Blog on a more regular basis
-Spend more time around my family when I'm at home
-Read more books. Specifically books that challenge the way I think
-Watch less television
-Chew my fingernails less. It's nasty, I know
-Spend less money
-Write letters to people
-Go on a date with Cassadee Pope from Hey Monday
-Play music more
-Make it to the mountains at least twice
-Curse less. This isn't a problem until I get around the guys and/or play xbox
-Go back to school

Most of these things aren't big things but it would be nice to try and work them into my daily routine. I didn't put down that I want to work out more because, let's be honest, who doesn't want or need to? All of them except the date with Cassadee Pope are pretty realistic and aren't drastic changes by any means but they are things that would make things a little more enjoyable I think. Oh and except for going back to school. That's pretty big. It will happen this fall and I am very ready for it.

A Decade Under the Influence

2009, as a year, was a turning point in my life. I started over with my life in hopes that I would find my way and become happier in general. Today I was driving back from Lawrence with a lot on my mind and started to wonder whether or not I could consider 2009 a successful year. I had a lot I wanted to accomplish as a person and some I reached some of those goals. Some of them I am still struggling with today.

I moved back home in pretty rough shape and I was determined to make last year a year in which I would start to grow and define myself. I think I accomplished this. I am a better friend today than I was at the start of last year. That's not to say I don't have plenty of room to grow, because I never want to stop trying to be a better friend. It took the broken friendship of one of my closest friends to help me see friends through a different prism.

I also became friends with new people in my life and my life will probably never be the same for it. Brock, Christy, Dane and everyone else in Clay Center have helped me grow as a person and consider my life in broader terms than I had before. For that I am eternally grateful. All my friends and I have had our struggles this year and I'm sure that trend will never go away but I am confident in our abilities to cope with those struggles better than we had before.

The reason I moved home is a well told story to most of you. If it's not, let's sit down and talk about it sometime. I was a broken person. It took me a very long time to get past my personal struggles and realize how much better off I was because of the pain I went through. Heartbreak is not an easy thing to cope with, no matter how strong you are. It took me awhile to realize I am happy being independent because it had been so long since I had been without someone to worry about, to love, to hold. But in the end, I am stronger and happier.

I made a great effort to live my life to the fullest every day and I think that was quite obvious to most. I was always on the go, driving endlessly across the state of Kansas. I went to concerts, visited friends who have all gone separate ways and I spent time driving alone trying to collect my thoughts. It wasn't always a smart move (I did spend too much money) but I always had fun. I never want to regret missing out on something, some memory or time with my friends and I think I accomplished that. I look forward to making many more memories with my friends and driving way too much again this year.

Of course, the biggest event in my life in 2009 was my back surgery. I put off my back problems for many months (from February til June), until it finally had enough of my stubbornness. From June to August I was unable to enjoy my life as I once had and that was very hard on me. I tried to be as happy as I could and just told myself it was all happening for the best. That's a hard thing to go through at the ripe age of 24. I got through surgery and spent the last 4 months of the year recovering from that. I could never have done it without my family and friends. I know they are tired of my back and of me but they rarely let me know it.

2009 was a year I will never forget and after all the things that happened in those 365 days I can call it one of the best and most trying times of my short life. I have so many memories, good and bad, that I will never forget. LEGO consumes, Abandon Kansas, DCB, Green Day, Colorado, Mass Street, Macho Crown, Man Weekends, The Hangover, Fire pits, We The Kings.

It was a decade spent under the influence, to steal the phrase from Taking Back Sunday. I hope the next 10 years test me as much as the last 10 have. Thank you to everyone out there who had an influence on my year. Good or bad it had an impact in some way. Oh, Happiness!