Change

Do you ever feel like you are making the wrong choices and the walls are closing in on you?  I had  something that felt like a panic attack last night while I was trying to sleep because I just feel like I'm making the wrong choices going into this semester.  I think it is just the idea of big change that freaks me out a little.  I'm afraid to mess up the life I have had.  I afraid to lose the people in my life I care for the most. I am afraid that by moving to Manhattan I will revert to the person I used to be, the person I worked very hard to get rid of.  That is the biggest concern I have.  I know I am going to be living with two great people and I have a lot of friends I can count on to lend me their ear if I need to talk but I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it, not even my girlfriend.  I feel like I have been dishonest with people because I haven't shared what's going on.  This weekend was a big eye-opener for me because last night I finally saw that by keeping everything in, letting it build up, I have started being the person I used to be.  I don't like it at all.  I guess it is a positive I could tell what was going on so now I can make sure to be open and honest.  It should be easy, right?  If only that were always the case.  With Love.