"As I'm looking to the sky to count the stars, I wonder if you see them where you are?" This line has been stuck in my head all day long. I usually think about it when we're swimming because the stars are out but I woke up with it in my head this morning and you haven't left my thoughts. It's not a bad thing at all though.
It's been a good week with no internet, cable or telephone, although I have used my phone and the internet now and then. Not having them in my life has helped out quite a bit getting things accomplished. The best feeling has been getting my desk set back up. Eli has had it since I moved home and it's great to have it ready for school.
My reading has gone very well too. Crazy Love is such a wonderful book. One of my fellow Jamoreer's read the chapter I was on as well and she really enjoyed it as well. We had a good talk regarding life and death. I took a nice walk around the big barn gazing at the stars and wondering why I'm living the life that I am and why I've been put in the situations that I've been put it. Deep stuff, I know. It was a great weekend with friends and I had a good experience. I could stand to have a few less people though.
After hanging out with 50 people, drinking a little, dancing a lot and generally having a good time I can't help but think that I have a blessed life. I have friends that I care deeply for, I have a family that supports me and that enables me to be the best person I can be. I've made some horrible decisions in my life but every day I wake up feeling like I'm learning from them and at least I'm trying to change my life and make it better.
I can't help but wonder if some of those people on the Jamboree will be there next year. As Crazy Love states:
"But it's easy to think about today as just another day. An average day where you go about life concerned with your to-do list, preoccupied by appointments, focused on family, thinking about your desires and needs."
Some of my friends don't make smart decisions and I'm so afraid one day it will lead to an early exit for them from this earth. Heck, it almost happened saturday on the river. "You might not make it through today." Some people don't consider their actions and the consequences they will reap the next day. While I understand the need for letting loose and having fun (I've done this more than necessary) there comes a time in one's life where responsibility takes over. About half the people this weekend haven't grown up enough. One day I will be floating the river in remembrance to those friends and hopefully helping others make better decisions.
Be smart, be safe, have fun. I hear that every time I leave my house to go visit friends from my parents. To the point and just the necessary information. That's why I love them. They pray I'll make the right choices and get home safe and sound. One day I want to tell my child that and know it will be okay.
Be still, and know.
Now Playing: For Emma by Bon Iver.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
30 Hardest Days of My Life
Today was a big day for me. I made a huge decision in my life that I'm hoping will lead towards a better time, a happier time, a more content time. I decided to give up my cell phone, internet, television and most importantly social media for 30 days. Brock and I talked about this a few times and it always seemed like a good idea but never something that would I would be able to go through with. On my drive from Lawrence to Salina today I had a friend tell me that she spent too much time on her phone and not enough time working on her own life. That was all I needed to decide to go through with it.
At 24 Feet tonight we watched a NOOMA video called Noise. Watch it please. It re-affirmed my belief that this was something I needed to do in my life, especially before school starts. I will use my house phone for people needing to get ahold of me because I don't want to inconvenience anyone much more than needed. 632-3751. Feel free to call. Also, one of the things I'm excited for is writing letters. I plan on writing letters daily about what I'm reading that day, what my thoughts are and such. I love writing and sending letters but it just isn't the thing to do these days. I'm bringing it back.
To go along with this I have a few books to read, including Crazy Love by Francis Chan, The Shack and The Purpose Driven Life. The point of thise is to work on what I need to change in my life and to hopefully find a better reason for the life I lead. I'll also break one rule and use internet to hopefully update my blog. For only that reason though. Wish me luck as I attempt to lead a different and hopefully more fulfilling life for a month. God Bless.
"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
At 24 Feet tonight we watched a NOOMA video called Noise. Watch it please. It re-affirmed my belief that this was something I needed to do in my life, especially before school starts. I will use my house phone for people needing to get ahold of me because I don't want to inconvenience anyone much more than needed. 632-3751. Feel free to call. Also, one of the things I'm excited for is writing letters. I plan on writing letters daily about what I'm reading that day, what my thoughts are and such. I love writing and sending letters but it just isn't the thing to do these days. I'm bringing it back.
To go along with this I have a few books to read, including Crazy Love by Francis Chan, The Shack and The Purpose Driven Life. The point of thise is to work on what I need to change in my life and to hopefully find a better reason for the life I lead. I'll also break one rule and use internet to hopefully update my blog. For only that reason though. Wish me luck as I attempt to lead a different and hopefully more fulfilling life for a month. God Bless.
"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Another Year full of Memories
So it's been 365 days since my last birthday. Well 364 but that's not the point. It's been a long year in my life but one that has turned out to be a blessing. As I've spent the last few days by myself contemplating all of those days that I spent on this Earth I came to a few realizations.
1. Every time I think that my parents are the best parents I could ask for they make me realize that I was right, but that they do more than I ever know. I don't tell them I love them enough and I'm not always the best son but I wouldn't ever change who my parents are. Hopefully one day I can show them that the investment they've made over 25 years wasn't for naught.
2. Every time I think that my friends are the best friends I could ask for they make me realize I was right, but they are even better than could have hoped for. The last year of my life was a struggle physically and mentally and I couldn't have made it through if it weren't for my support system (Brett, Craig, Brock, Dane, Christy and others) I would be pretty miserable. Whether it's playing music with Brock and Dane or golfing with the guys I'm always amazed at how God has put these different people in my life.
3. I have growing to do. Most people can list off their faults and know what they do wrong and I'm one of those people. I won't go through and list them but I do know what my weak points are. Getting ready to go back to school made me realize that I've still got more of my old self in me than I really want. Some days it's a struggle to make the necessary changes stick but I just pray that one day I will be the person I want to be.
I keep looking back at all the memories I've made since July 8th of last year and there are so many. Here are a few that I will never forget.........
Trail riding in Lawrence, Driving in the mountains alone, Back surgery, Abandon Kansas concerts, Lego Costumes, 24 Feet, Winfield, All Time Low, Passion Pit, Mayday Parade, Call of Duty, PowerBall mania, 30 Hour Famine, Hawk Mud Fest and Riley.
I lead a blessed life that I never appreciate enough. Thank you to everyone who has been involved in my life because without all of you I wouldn't be a happy camper (or just a camper).
"I've met great friends, I've seen great times, I've been in love and I've seen love die, But nothing's as good as when I close my eyes and feel that road that's led me through this life, It's a good life that's kept me on my feet.....I'll take a chance on every breathe like it's my last. Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights we stay up until the sun would rise, No matter how far you get I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down."
The Good Life by Valencia
1. Every time I think that my parents are the best parents I could ask for they make me realize that I was right, but that they do more than I ever know. I don't tell them I love them enough and I'm not always the best son but I wouldn't ever change who my parents are. Hopefully one day I can show them that the investment they've made over 25 years wasn't for naught.
2. Every time I think that my friends are the best friends I could ask for they make me realize I was right, but they are even better than could have hoped for. The last year of my life was a struggle physically and mentally and I couldn't have made it through if it weren't for my support system (Brett, Craig, Brock, Dane, Christy and others) I would be pretty miserable. Whether it's playing music with Brock and Dane or golfing with the guys I'm always amazed at how God has put these different people in my life.
3. I have growing to do. Most people can list off their faults and know what they do wrong and I'm one of those people. I won't go through and list them but I do know what my weak points are. Getting ready to go back to school made me realize that I've still got more of my old self in me than I really want. Some days it's a struggle to make the necessary changes stick but I just pray that one day I will be the person I want to be.
I keep looking back at all the memories I've made since July 8th of last year and there are so many. Here are a few that I will never forget.........
Trail riding in Lawrence, Driving in the mountains alone, Back surgery, Abandon Kansas concerts, Lego Costumes, 24 Feet, Winfield, All Time Low, Passion Pit, Mayday Parade, Call of Duty, PowerBall mania, 30 Hour Famine, Hawk Mud Fest and Riley.
I lead a blessed life that I never appreciate enough. Thank you to everyone who has been involved in my life because without all of you I wouldn't be a happy camper (or just a camper).
"I've met great friends, I've seen great times, I've been in love and I've seen love die, But nothing's as good as when I close my eyes and feel that road that's led me through this life, It's a good life that's kept me on my feet.....I'll take a chance on every breathe like it's my last. Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights we stay up until the sun would rise, No matter how far you get I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down."
The Good Life by Valencia
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