Monday, July 19, 2010

Life on the river

"As I'm looking to the sky to count the stars, I wonder if you see them where you are?" This line has been stuck in my head all day long. I usually think about it when we're swimming because the stars are out but I woke up with it in my head this morning and you haven't left my thoughts. It's not a bad thing at all though.

It's been a good week with no internet, cable or telephone, although I have used my phone and the internet now and then. Not having them in my life has helped out quite a bit getting things accomplished. The best feeling has been getting my desk set back up. Eli has had it since I moved home and it's great to have it ready for school.

My reading has gone very well too. Crazy Love is such a wonderful book. One of my fellow Jamoreer's read the chapter I was on as well and she really enjoyed it as well. We had a good talk regarding life and death. I took a nice walk around the big barn gazing at the stars and wondering why I'm living the life that I am and why I've been put in the situations that I've been put it. Deep stuff, I know. It was a great weekend with friends and I had a good experience. I could stand to have a few less people though.

After hanging out with 50 people, drinking a little, dancing a lot and generally having a good time I can't help but think that I have a blessed life. I have friends that I care deeply for, I have a family that supports me and that enables me to be the best person I can be. I've made some horrible decisions in my life but every day I wake up feeling like I'm learning from them and at least I'm trying to change my life and make it better.

I can't help but wonder if some of those people on the Jamboree will be there next year. As Crazy Love states:

"But it's easy to think about today as just another day. An average day where you go about life concerned with your to-do list, preoccupied by appointments, focused on family, thinking about your desires and needs."

Some of my friends don't make smart decisions and I'm so afraid one day it will lead to an early exit for them from this earth. Heck, it almost happened saturday on the river. "You might not make it through today." Some people don't consider their actions and the consequences they will reap the next day. While I understand the need for letting loose and having fun (I've done this more than necessary) there comes a time in one's life where responsibility takes over. About half the people this weekend haven't grown up enough. One day I will be floating the river in remembrance to those friends and hopefully helping others make better decisions.

Be smart, be safe, have fun. I hear that every time I leave my house to go visit friends from my parents. To the point and just the necessary information. That's why I love them. They pray I'll make the right choices and get home safe and sound. One day I want to tell my child that and know it will be okay.

Be still, and know.

Now Playing: For Emma by Bon Iver.

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