2009, as a year, was a turning point in my life. I started over with my life in hopes that I would find my way and become happier in general. Today I was driving back from Lawrence with a lot on my mind and started to wonder whether or not I could consider 2009 a successful year. I had a lot I wanted to accomplish as a person and some I reached some of those goals. Some of them I am still struggling with today.
I moved back home in pretty rough shape and I was determined to make last year a year in which I would start to grow and define myself. I think I accomplished this. I am a better friend today than I was at the start of last year. That's not to say I don't have plenty of room to grow, because I never want to stop trying to be a better friend. It took the broken friendship of one of my closest friends to help me see friends through a different prism.
I also became friends with new people in my life and my life will probably never be the same for it. Brock, Christy, Dane and everyone else in Clay Center have helped me grow as a person and consider my life in broader terms than I had before. For that I am eternally grateful. All my friends and I have had our struggles this year and I'm sure that trend will never go away but I am confident in our abilities to cope with those struggles better than we had before.
The reason I moved home is a well told story to most of you. If it's not, let's sit down and talk about it sometime. I was a broken person. It took me a very long time to get past my personal struggles and realize how much better off I was because of the pain I went through. Heartbreak is not an easy thing to cope with, no matter how strong you are. It took me awhile to realize I am happy being independent because it had been so long since I had been without someone to worry about, to love, to hold. But in the end, I am stronger and happier.
I made a great effort to live my life to the fullest every day and I think that was quite obvious to most. I was always on the go, driving endlessly across the state of Kansas. I went to concerts, visited friends who have all gone separate ways and I spent time driving alone trying to collect my thoughts. It wasn't always a smart move (I did spend too much money) but I always had fun. I never want to regret missing out on something, some memory or time with my friends and I think I accomplished that. I look forward to making many more memories with my friends and driving way too much again this year.
Of course, the biggest event in my life in 2009 was my back surgery. I put off my back problems for many months (from February til June), until it finally had enough of my stubbornness. From June to August I was unable to enjoy my life as I once had and that was very hard on me. I tried to be as happy as I could and just told myself it was all happening for the best. That's a hard thing to go through at the ripe age of 24. I got through surgery and spent the last 4 months of the year recovering from that. I could never have done it without my family and friends. I know they are tired of my back and of me but they rarely let me know it.
2009 was a year I will never forget and after all the things that happened in those 365 days I can call it one of the best and most trying times of my short life. I have so many memories, good and bad, that I will never forget. LEGO consumes, Abandon Kansas, DCB, Green Day, Colorado, Mass Street, Macho Crown, Man Weekends, The Hangover, Fire pits, We The Kings.
It was a decade spent under the influence, to steal the phrase from Taking Back Sunday. I hope the next 10 years test me as much as the last 10 have. Thank you to everyone out there who had an influence on my year. Good or bad it had an impact in some way. Oh, Happiness!
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