Simplicity

This past weekend I got to see Dane and Christy for the first time in just under a year.  It was amazing how it felt like they never left my side. Our conversations were focused on catching up on the wild ride that life has taken us all on the past year but it honestly felt like they never left. Dane, Brock, and I rode home from Kansas City together and had some man time.  Dane kept telling me how much he missed just hanging out with the guys and I knew exactly what he meant.

Right as we were pulling into Manhattan we turned on "Lover's Eyes" by Mumford and Sons. The great thing about my relationship with my friends is that we have a shared love of music. It is constantly talked about, especially with Brock and Dane. So we put on the song and sang our harmonies and just rocked out as people tend to do in minivans. I realized then it was the simple things I missed about having Dane and Christy around. I missed singing along to music or talking about music. We pulled up to the apartment as the song finished and it just felt normal.

One Day At A Time

Thursday night I went out with two friends from school, one riding the joy of seeing a long distance boyfriend soon, one friend who was struggling at the end of a long week. I was smack dab in the middle of them, getting ready to see Dane and Christy the next day, and still struggling with the break up with Emily. But these two really allowed me to talk about whatever it was I had on my mind. It was just a great time and a wonderful way to celebrate the end of the semester.

That night brings me to the reason that I wanted to blog tonight. I have watched The Avett Brothers and Randy Travis on CMT Crossroads about fifty times since it came out over Thanksgiving break. I usually end up watching the songs that have been written by Randy Travis because I just love the original songs by The Avett Brothers so much. However, the interviews of the four main performers (Scott, Seth and Bob from the Avett's and Randy Travis) give me the most highlights. My favorite interview involves the four men talking about love and the relationships in their lives. Scott Avett said something that will stick with me for awhile when talking about his marriage.  He said, "A lot of people will give me weird looks when I say this, but I view my marriage as like each day of sobriety. A great friend of mine said, 'I can't tell you if I'm going to be sober for the rest of my life, I can't promise that.' We try to promise further than that, and we sure are committed to each other.... I try and keep it one day at at time."

They also discussed about songs that talk about the good and the bad up against each other. I can relate to that feeling because life always contains the good and the bad days, sometimes mixed in together. Even in the darkest of times, there will always be something positive in your life, you just have to look for it. Every rough story will have a fulfilling adventure.  I have always been the type of person who can look on the positive side of life, even in my darkest of times. That hasn't always been a good thing because it really shields you from seeing that things need immediate change at times. But life should always be viewed through a positive lens; too many days can be viewed in a negative light. As my friend Anna told me, I will tell everyone I know as well: If you ever need a positive voice in your life, give me a call. I am a good listener.

With Love,

Ian

I Can Still Remember It Like It was Yesterday

I Can Still Remember It Like It Was Yesterday by Christian D. Orr

Salina Journal Date: January 17, 2003 Section: News

I was standing on the football field at Ottawa High School at the conclusion of a first-round playoff game between Ottawa and Clay Center High School when this old, gruff looking man came ambling out of the stands and down to the field.

I was standing in front of a living legend - Blackie Lane.

I had heard so many stories about Blackie Lane through the years it was almost unimaginable I was finally meeting the man. The man my father had talked so highly for so many years.

"He was a man that taught me a lot," my father said recently. "He was a man that I truly respected."

Blackie Lane died last Friday. He was 79.

But legends, in athletics anyway, never die and Blackie Lane is undoubtedly a coaching legend.

Lane coached in more than 100 seasons of athletics during a 40-year career which started at Wakefield High School, included a stop at Beloit where he was an assistant for present Purdue basketball coach Gene Keady, before culminating with a 30-year stint at Clay Center High School.

While he was best known for his love of the sport of track he was also an assistant coach in football and basketball, picking up head coaching duties in both sports for brief stints throughout his career.

"I can't ever remember a time during those 40 years that he was not coaching something," said son Paul Lane, who is now the head football coach at Clay Center.

But it isn't longevity that makes Blackie Lane a legend. It is the stories that he told. The stories told about him. And, most importantly, the lives which he touched.

"He was a very special person for me," said Keady, who was just 22 years old when he took over the Beloit High School coaching reigns. "He taught me how to work with people. He had a lot of charisma. He was good about being patient with people."

Patient with players ... officials, now that is a whole different story.

"We used to always joke that whenever we played a basketball game we were automatically down two points right from the start," said Emporia State University football coach David Wiemers, who played for Lane at Clay Center. "We always knew that Blackie would get a technical in a game so we just started off knowing we were down two points."

It wasn't that Blackie was not a sportsman, he was every bit a sportsman. But he fought for his kids and he competed until the very end.

"I don't think he ever won a state championship, I'm not sure, but I don't think he ever did," Paul Lane said. "But that never bothered him because he wasn't in it to win championships. He was in it for the kids. He was in it for the camaraderie."

He was in it for the thrill of competition.

"He was a guy that made friends with the other athletes and coaches," said Abilene track and cross country Ken Russell, who has competed against Lane and coached against him as well. "He was a true sportsman.

"He was always the first one to come and congratulate you if you beat him and he always played by the rules. He didn't always do things according to the book and some people may have seen him only as a gruff-old codger, but he always had the kids interest at heart.

"He was a wonderful coach."

He was and always will be a coaching legend.

"Coach, you got my attention," my father said after learning of Blackie's passing. "And I still remember after all of these years."

This article ran a week after my grandfather passed away. It's hard to believe that was nearly 10 years ago. I knew something was wrong that day when my dad wasn't in his room during 4th hour because he was there during 1st hour. I knew something was really wrong when, just before I took the mat in my first ever varsity wrestling match, my mom told me that we needed to get to Topeka as quickly as we could after the dual was over (I took this too literally I guess, losing in 20 seconds). Speaking only from this one experience and nothing more, I hope the day I day is just like the day my grandfather passed away. 

We got to the hospital very late, only to find that my grandfather had been moved to a new floor. This was because my family was celebrating his life, and we celebrate by singing. My aunts and uncles had become too much of a distraction on the ICU floor and thus they moved Blackie to a floor to accommodate us. This was the first night that I ever heard the CCCHS school song sung with words, who knew? We all shared stories about my grandfather, even my little cousins. I shared about how much I loved him coming over every saturday morning to talk football, driving over even though he was too blind to drive. Early in the morning I got to say my goodbyes before leaving the room and leaving my aunts and uncles to say goodbye. 

I went to school the next day to take a test, because I knew that sitting at home wouldn't do anything but hurt. I walked into school and saw Mr. Block, my Anatomy and Phisology teacher standing outside of his room. Mr. Block lived next door to my grandparents for most of my childhood and was always over during family time. I had held it together up until that point but I broke down crying when we embraced for a hug. He understood just what I was going through, and the feeling was mutual. 

Two days later I went to my first varsity wrestling tournament in Rossville, KS. I got second place, knowing that Blackie was watching. The team lead a prayer and wanted to win for my family. My grandfather, even 30 years after retiring as a coach, was held in high regard by my friends and classmates. We won the tournament with only one person not placing in the top 3. 

I am going to be a teacher, influence by decades of teachers from my family. I realized that day just what kind of influence a teacher and a coach can have on students, parents and a community and I knew I wanted to be a teacher like my grandfather and father and mother. I hope the day I pass away is a celebration, because that is what death is. It is a celebration of a life that has ended, but hopefully just begun. 

Friends

Brett, Brock, Craig and Dane. Those four men are the closest friends I have and if I am being honest, they are the best friends any person could ask for. As I wrote in my last post, I am reading A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller. There is a chapter in the story about a group of men who were held captive for a year while being tortured. The men were described as the closest of friends because of the simple things they did while around each other. They didn't cut each other off, talk over one another and they didn't need to fill the air with unneeded words. They simply enjoyed the company of one another. I've never really thought about why certain friends are closer than others, why I will always reach out to those four men above everyone else, but I just know that is my first instinct; it is second nature.

However, if I really think about why we are all friends, it is because we have all been through some deep stuff in our time knowing each other, some, like myself, more than others. Each friend offers a different view of the world, and their advice and opinions reflect that. I know Brett will always be a smart ass when I first bring something up, his way of making the situation less heavy I suppose. Dane will start off by apologizing (or praising) to me for what happened. Brock will ask for details before offering advice and Craig will probably just not answer the phone. He takes on a combination of the other three though. It is funny how well I can know these four men, even though our time spent as friends varies a great deal.

I thank God every night for my friends and all that they have helped me through. It is amazing what someone can go through when he has people by his side like Brett, Craig, Brock and Dane. I look back at old pictures, mostly of Brett, Craig, and I, and I laugh at who we were back then. Eight years ago we were punk kids who wanted the world. Now we are at various stages of our lives and take what we can get. That is not a bad thing, but the inevitable change all people go through. We went through the fires often in those days and I can remember the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Those days still show up and when they do, I know who I can call.

A New Path Created

I have started this post about twenty different ways, not really knowing where I wanted to take it. Post-breakup days are always filled with time spent wondering about what ifs and what could have beens. These days, however, are filled with thoughts about where my path is headed, about what kind of story I am leaving for the world.  Distance changed everything about my relationship with Emily and with that comes a different thought process to breaking up. I can remember four years ago when I ended my last serious relationship and how I felt; remembering how much it ached and how I was living a life down the wrong path. These days I don't feel that way.  I find myself wondering if it is because of my advanced age, my closer relationship with God (and by closer I mean I have one now), or because the distance just made it easier to move on. 

I am reading A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller for the third time. The first time made me want to be spontaneous and have fun. The second time I started to pick out important pieces, advice on how to live a better life/story. This time though, I am finding passages and tidbits on how to become a better character. Amazing things can happen when you give stories or music multiple chances to blow you away, to reach different parts of your mind. I know a musician who recommends listening to an album, in order, three times before you decide how good it is. I find this to be true for any craft. Donald Miller is one of those writers that always leaves me with something new to process. Songs by Mumford and Sons are that way as well. 

One passage that I found to be enlightening in A Million Miles In A Thousand Years was a single line that reads, "The stories we tell ourselves are very different from the stories we tell the world." Basically, other people cannot perceive our thoughts, they cannot read our minds. Sometimes body language and actions can give our feelings away but most of the time people are left guessing how we truly feel. I believe people need to be more open and share their stories, share their thoughts and emotions with the people around them. It is sometimes easier to fight personal battles and demons by ourselves, because we are embarrassed by what we are going through. However, there will always be people who are fighting the same battles, struggling with the same faults that you are. 

Helplessness Blues

What is the worst feeling you can have?  I am sure there are some horrible feelings out there but right now it is helplessness.  I feel helpless in that I cannot help Emily when she needs help, I cannot be there physically when she's had a rough day, I cannot be there to go out and have fun, I cannot be there when she cannot sleep, I cannot be there when she has a reason to celebrate.  I long to be near her for a change, to be able to do all of those former things.  There's only so much I can do through a telephone or computer.  I'm very lucky to have a girlfriend who allows me to visit her when our schedules allow and who will put up with my constant "Can I visit again?" attitude towards driving to Texas.  As Emily would say, I'm not lucky at all.  And it's true.  I have the best girlfriend I could ever ask for, one who is my best friend, and one whom I love very deeply.  But sometimes you pine to do more than the distance will allow.  That is our burden, and has always been.  She is my boo, and I her bear.  I just wish I could share more of these moments together with her.

You Swept Me Away

I just love this song by The Avett Brothers.  Especially since they have their sister Bonnie sing with them.

Benefits of Distance

• The Top 10 Benefits of having a Long Distance Relationship (as sent to me by a friend)
• 10: That first hug when you eventually do see each other
• 9: Independence (especially when you see your friends in controlling & bad relationships)
• 8: Free room and board in a different city
• 7: Picturing your life together.It will happen eventually. And it will be amazing.
• 6: Regular emails/IMs telling you how wonderful, smart, funny and intelligent you are
• 5: Thinking about how wonderful, smart, funny and intelligent your partner is
• 4: Your partners smell (you know you love it!)
• 3: Those late night conversations where you feel so close and so connected and so in love
• 2: Always knowing there is someone out there who loves and misses you
• 1: Because your life is better with your partner in it. Period.

I think this is a pretty darn good list.  I am especially looking forward to number 10 and 4 on my visits to Austin. 

The Countdown

I figured that knowing what day Emily is leaving for Austin would make it easier but I am finding that isn't exactly the case.  I can't imagine what it feels like for her, knowing that her life will be going through such a big change in twelve short days.  But it is also a big change for me.  I was telling Brett about it tonight and I think it finally sank in.  We have always had a distance relationship and it hasn't always been easy but we have made it work really well.  But Austin is on another level.  I am excited for her and excited for my chances to go visit a city like Austin because I love new experiences.  With that being said, it's still scary for both of us.  In twelve days I will not have the power to run to see Emily on the weekend if I want to, or run to see Emily if one of us is having a bad day.  Skype will keep us close and I think that will allow us to survive it.  

I never wanted another long distance relationship but I think that it has allowed Emily and I to become best friends over the last few years and for that I am very thankful.  We can really spend time together knowing that we are not taking each other for granted.  I may not always be the best at communicating, but I am confident that we can have a great relationship while we each finish out our schooling.  I think that is the beauty in my relationship with Emily, being best friends allows everything else to just fill in the blank spaces.  Loving her is easy to do.  

But knowing that the countdown has begun I am starting to be overwhelmed.  But that pales into comparison to how she feels.  

Twenty + Seven

I turned 27 two days ago.  It came and went like a summer's breeze, mostly without it every feeling like my birthday.  I kept to myself, stayed at home and that's about all of the excitement of my day.  People have asked what turning 27 feels like, probably to be polite, or to strike up conversation, but the answer remained the same: turning 27 feels no different than turning 26 or 25.  I honestly wouldn't have noticed if my mom hadn't been asking all day what I wanted to to or what I wanted to eat.  I celebrated my birthday a few days early by going to Colorado with my parents and Emily to see The Avett Brothers and the mountains so I shouldn't say that I didn't have an exciting birthday.  I had one goal in mind for my birthday and that was to work on the desk that I am building.  I was home alone so the project didn't go like I had wanted but I got a majority of it done by myself.

The most interesting thing about my birthday was seeing how many people remembered that it was my day of birth.  Most people know what it is like to have a birthday if you are on Facebook; notifications all day long from people you know and some you don't really know.  As Brett put it, "It is nice to feel like a celebrity for a day, but it is annoying." I have taken my birthday off so I had a record low for notifications this year which was honestly kind of nice.

I would consider the past year to be one of great productivity for myself and one that has seen many happy memories.  My friends got married, I started dating Emily, I went to many great concerts, I decided to move to Manhattan, I worked on many big projects around my house and school was better than I imagined it would go.  So thank you to everyone who made the year special.  I don't feel any older, and I don't feel any different.  I am just thankful for another year to enjoy my friends and family.

Change

Do you ever feel like you are making the wrong choices and the walls are closing in on you?  I had  something that felt like a panic attack last night while I was trying to sleep because I just feel like I'm making the wrong choices going into this semester.  I think it is just the idea of big change that freaks me out a little.  I'm afraid to mess up the life I have had.  I afraid to lose the people in my life I care for the most. I am afraid that by moving to Manhattan I will revert to the person I used to be, the person I worked very hard to get rid of.  That is the biggest concern I have.  I know I am going to be living with two great people and I have a lot of friends I can count on to lend me their ear if I need to talk but I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it, not even my girlfriend.  I feel like I have been dishonest with people because I haven't shared what's going on.  This weekend was a big eye-opener for me because last night I finally saw that by keeping everything in, letting it build up, I have started being the person I used to be.  I don't like it at all.  I guess it is a positive I could tell what was going on so now I can make sure to be open and honest.  It should be easy, right?  If only that were always the case.  With Love.

Janet

It is the weekend before finals week and just after dead week and I think dead week lived up to it's name again this year.  I had a final every single day except thursday, which was spent finishing my website for Exceptional Child.  It was a long week and it hasn't slowed down one bit.  I have to re-do my lesson plan final for my Core Teaching Skills lab because apparently I missed the memo on not using narrative books for second graders because it will "confuse them."I also have a take-home final due monday (our class was informed that if we simply turn it in we will get an A) and then two finals next week.  So far my finals have gone pretty well.  I received two B's on my practice Praxis exam but that is actually a good grade for the class from what I understand.  That put my grade in that class at a 90.8; I have heard that to receive and A in the class you need a 94, but that has yet to be confirmed.  I am ready for summer.  How about everyone else out there?

The real reason I wanted to blog today was because I heard an amazing story yesterday during my Culture and Language class that I just wanted to share.  We had a pizza party to celebrate the end of the year and to just chat with everyone and say our goodbyes.  We had a lot of cool stories that were shared throughout the semester because it is a diverse class with a lot of different backgrounds and races being represented.  It was nice just to say thanks to the people in the class for sharing their views and thoughts because sometimes it is hard to share your views in a class like that.

One of the men in the class, Pedro, hails from the Congo, by way of Portugal.  He brought a guitar and sang us two songs that he had written himself, to share his life stories.  One was in the native language of the Congo, and the other in Portuguese so you could not really understand him, but the emotions conveyed in the song translated just the same.  The first song was written about a moment that changed Pedro's life.  It occurred during Apartheid in South Africa. Pedro became friends with a caucasian woman named Janet, who had been fighting against the apartheid; it was a very rare thing at that time to see a white woman protesting and fighting against this view.  Pedro had been visiting Janet one day when she received a package in the mail.  She had been expecting one and was excited for it so she asked Pedro to stay for awhile.  He couldn't stay so he left to be on his way.  Moments later, as he was leaving the building, he heard a loud noise and the building shook.  Inside the package that Janet had received was a bomb.  It killed her and her young daughter.

To hear Pedro share this story was so moving, as was his beautiful voice and song.  I am sure some of the details are wrong because it was hard to really focus and remember because everyone was just caught up in it but that story is fairly accurate.  It was such a powerful moment in our class and one you will rarely find in classes these days.  It definitely made getting another endorsement in ESOL worth it, just that moment.

I hope everyone is getting through their semesters okay and are still plugging away because summer is just around the corner!

Crazy Talk

This week has been perfect. Well, almost. I spent the whole time eating good food, relaxing, watching season 4 of Dexter and seeing most of my favorite people in the world. I worked on homework here and there (should have done that more) and enjoyed the weather. It rained all week in Emporia and I honestly wouldn't have had it any other way; sorry everyone who was hoping for rain, I finally got to enjoy my rainy days with Emily. I also got a whole bunch of new music that I am excited to listen to. I am finishing up a long day working on my PLT Packet for Educational Psychology and then I will finally be ready for class tomorrow. This week has just made me want to say crazy things, but I enjoy a little crazy talk every once in a while. I hope everyone had a good break from the stress, rigor and anxiety that school brings; I know I did. And then some.

With Love,

Ian

The Head and The Heart

Josh McBride and Oh, Virginia by The Head and The Heart

Now I'm a stranger in someone else's home

All that I'm asking for is a place to call my own

Just a place to call my own.

The Head and The Heart were such a great live show. It was a pretty chill concert but they have great harmonies and they seem like really wonderful people, enjoying what they do for a living. Enjoy this acoustic performance.

Smooth

Hello ladies and gentlemen. I haven't blogged in awhile because there hasn't been anything noteworthy to blog about. Life has been going smoothly lately, which has been wonderful. The month of February and March have been very busy so far, keeping me on the road almost every weekend but I have had a blast. I got to see The Head and the Heart for Emily's birthday and they put on a great show at The Granada. Yesterday I went to see The Avett Brothers perform at The Orpheum theater in Wichita and I can say that it was quite possibly the best show I have seen. They played almost 30 songs and played a few unplugged tunes in there. This weekend was as close to a perfect weekend as you can get. I hope everyone else is doing well out there, especially with spring break coming up!

Early Birthday Present

So many of you know that in March I will be going with Emily, Brett and Hannah to see The Avett Brothers in Wichita, which I am so excited for! The Orpheum will be such a great venue to see a band like them. It will almost be perfect. However, ever since I saw Incubus play at Red Rocks Ampitheater outside of Denver I have wanted to go to another show there. If you haven't ever been there or seen pictures of this place, please check it out. It is probably the most beautiful venue I have ever seen, rivaling Royal Albert Hall.

Of course when I saw The Avett Brothers were playing Red Rocks I immediately asked Emily if she wanted to go see them again (knowing full well that she wouldn't say no to that question) and then started planning the trip. But I also knew that my parents enjoy The Avetts as much as I do so I asked them to go as well. And to make a long story short, the four of us are going to see the concert at the end of June for my birthday! We are going to stay in Fort Collins with Andy and Sherri one night to see their family because we don't get to see their kids very often.

The day of the show we are going to travel through Big Thompson Canyon up to Estes Park, into Rocky Mountain National Park and over Trail Ridge Road into Grand Lake, shop a little, travel up through Winter Park, Berthoud Pass, down through Idaho Springs, and then come out of the mountains right at Red Rocks, just in time for the show! My goodness doesn't that sound amazing? Just to make my mom even more happy, we got a hotel about five minutes from Colorado Mills Shopping Center, which is host to one of the biggest Eddie Bauer Outlet stores. I really know how to convince them to go on a trip! So that is my good news of the evening. I hope everyone is having a spectacular weekend.

Valentine's Day

So tomorrow is Valentine's Day, which is a pointless "holiday." I just read that people will spend upwards of $17 billion on gifts, dinner, and other things on their significant others. Why? Are there not enough designated holidays for gifts already? What's even worse is when people expect extravagant, out-of-this-world gifts. If anything, Valentine's Day should be a day of simple gifts that are personal. So what did Emily and I do for the day? We got each other simple gifts and spent the evening watching movies. Perfect! Many people asked me what I got her and when I responded that I got her screwdrivers, I could tell they wanted to just say "What the hell are you thinking?" (I got a lint roller) I was thinking that we don't need to spend money to show each other we enjoy each other's company. But I thought, what else could I do for Valentine's Day? Well Emily, here is another gift that will hopefully make you laugh at the silliness of "romance."

Gamble Chocolates and Antacid Hearts! (Skip to 3:42)

Bacon!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Anxiety

It is late and I cannot seem to fall asleep. For the last few nights I have really struggled to sleep. I seem to be anxious at the time when I need to be calm the most. I'm not sure of the reason for this but it sucks. I have been trying to do a better job of getting to bed earlier and it seems to not be working at all; in fact it is backfiring. I have also been just lacking motivation in my classes this week. Again, it has been a real struggle for me. It has happened all of the sudden and I have been searching for answers. It's something that isn't completely new to me so I am not too worried about it passing but I just wish it was something I didn't have to deal with right now. The cat is fighting me for attention so I will leave you with that. Just remember to slow it down.

Painting

I found this on Donald Miller's blog the other day. I just loved the quotes from it.

“I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.” – Vincent van Gogh

I only ask you to remember this: even in the darkest nights and the rainiest of days, moments of light and color mysteriously, majestically, and sometimes whimsically (like a rainbow of flowers disguised as umbrellas) shine through. Paint that truth.

Transition Period

I have been told many times this week that this semester is the start of a transition period in my life. Entering into Block A is supposed to signal to students that they are almost professionals and, therefore, need to start acting like one. We were told to start thinking about what we say, how we dress, what we tweet, what we blog about, start networking. Personally, It has felt like a transition period for me but probably not because of the same reasons for most people entering Block A. Most of my classmates are still around 21 and think about things 21-year-olds think about. They go out, they party, they have fun. I do that about twice a semester. I'm older and had my time being a 21-year-old.

I think this semester has felt like a transition period because I feel like I'm finally fitting in at college. I have loved my time at K-State and I enjoyed my time at Emporia State but I could never find a place where I felt comfortable. I feel like I am in the right major for me. I know more than one person in each class. In fact, I have at least 10 people in each class that I know and can talk to. There are at least 5 people that I have worked in groups with and know personally and that has made a huge difference in the comfort I feel walking into my classes.

It is a transition period for me and it feels great. I'm looking forward to this semester for many reasons. My life finally feels like I'm grown up. And that, my friends, has been a long time coming.

Irony

While trying to fall asleep last night I though of something and it made me laugh. I used to leave Emporia every weekend that I could when I was going to school here. Now I'm living at home and going to K-State and all I want to do is spend my weekends in Emporia. I find that a tad ironic.

Dane and Christy

It seems that a lifetime has passed since I have started this blog, which coincided with my move back home. Every time I think about how long it has been I really struggle when figuring out exactly how long it has been (over 4 years is the answer). Most of you, if not all of you, know the story behind my move back home and it was something that helped my life a great deal. But one of the only reasons that my life has turned out so well in this time is because of the help of my friends, and a couple in particular. They would be Christy and Dane.

I had exactly 1 friend in this town when I moved home and if it weren't for Christy, I may not have gotten the opportunity to have the friends I do now. Christy was responsible for getting me to Church, introducing me to Abandon Kansas, introducing me to her family and friends, and helping me re-discover my love of playing music. It was a simple invitation to join her family while they were fire pitting that really changed my life. I wouldn't have become friends with Brock or Dane. I wouldn't have the relationship with God that I do. And I probably wouldn't be playing music. I owe her a great deal, more than I will ever be able to express quite honestly.

I can remember meeting Dane the first time I was around the Bebermeyer's fire pit. He didn't talk much to me, other than a simple introduction. But in the time since he has become someone that I can always turn to for advice, knowing he will always lend an ear. I got the chance to play music with Dane at his church and it was always a fun experience. We have been to concerts, we have been drinking, we have talked about girls and we have tried to write music in our underwear. We had some great memories in the few years that I got to know Dane and I can say, with great joy in my heart, that he is a wonderful person and I am lucky to have him in my life.

I didn't get the chance to say goodbye to the Wutke's before they left on their journey to Australia and I am awfully mad at myself for that. There was so much I wanted to say to them, gratitude that I wanted to extend, but it wasn't meant to be. I will kick myself for two years for not driving back to give them hugs goodbye. Luckily for me, and the rest of their friends and family, technology has allowed us to remain in close communication from across the globe. I couldn't give them my best wishes in person but here I am, writing them down, knowing they can read them.

It is a bittersweet moment for everyone in their lives because we will all miss them so much while they are walking along their journey that God has sent them on, but we miss them knowing that they are doing God's will. They are so lucky to have the opportunity to be in Australia and start their lives together, grow together. We all were skeptical of the idea, some may still feel that way, but eventually I realized that I was being selfish in not wanting them to go. I didn't want to give up my close friends. But they aren't gone, just on an extended vacation.

So Dane and Christy, even though you just logged of Skype without saying you were leaving (I am assuming you found the grocery store), I love you both so much and I couldn't be more proud of you. I am forever in your debt, eternally you might say. You have helped me grow into the man that I am today. I look forward to hearing about your adventures, seeing pictures, and reading about your lives over the next two years. Heck, maybe I will even visit one day. Stay safe, have fun, grow together, and please, come home soon. We all look forward to your arrival!

I'm Caught In Suspension

Well it's official, I am in Block A next semester. After getting a rejection letter on wednesday, I received an acceptance letter on saturday. It has been a whirl-wind few days for me on the road in Emporia, Lawrence and Manhattan. Today couldn't have been a better day. Friday couldn't have been better. Or thursday. Wednesday night was one of the best nights of my life. This song is a perfect descriptor of that night on the dock of Olpe Lake, under the moon and stars.

Suspension by Mae