Sex God. Chapter 8

I'm trying to finish off these books that I've borrowed from Christy and Dane and I decided to just finish Sex God. In chapter 8 I came across a passage that I struck me and I wanted to share it.

"We want someone to see us exactly as we are and still love us.

It's terrifying to let people see who we really are. To see the darkness in our hearts, our bad habits, all of the things we've done in the past that we regret. Our biases, our shortcomings, the things we aren't good at.

Being naked is terrifying.

What would it be like to be with someone who loves you exactly as you are?"

This is a moving passage to me. I think to myself, how many people truly know who I am? Hope many people can answer these question about me? I realize that this passage is talking about marriage and being "naked" with your partner and I guess that's the idea. There are only two people in this world who have seem me in this raw emotional state and while those two are the closest people to me in this world, I want someone else to see this side of me. Here is one last passage to think about.

"But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit
And thoughts
And fears
And future
And hopes
And dreams...
That is being naked.

The Fearsome Foursome

I know what you're all thinking. It's been too long since I've been on here. And you are correct. I'm always thinking of great things to write about at work, I just never remember to write when I come home. Sorry. It will happen again, just don't hold it against me. There hasn't been a whole lot going on since my last entry. Chili bowl was one weekend and Branden's birthday was last weekend. Both of those events were loads of fun with lots of great friends. My good friend Christy post lots of pictures from the event and you can creep everyone here .
Last weekend was Branden's party and it was successful. Craig won a free night in a VIP lounge at the Barrel House. KU's pep band was there to celebrate the first bball game of the year. The dueling pianos were pretty cool. It was great to see Boozer and Joe. Being all together was a long time coming.
Ive been saving this special nugget of information for just the right time so here it is: We got Honorable Mention in the Wired Magazine Costume Contest! They made a place just for us. Next year they are making a category, just for us. We're special! We even get free crap from Wired. We are so grateful for everyone who voted for us and for the men and women at Wired for working with us to acknowledge our efforts and ideas. You can see us here. Were no longer calling it a "Quad-Pod" but a "Fearsome Foursome." I think it works.
This weekend is the All Time Low, We The Kings and Hey Monday show. I'm stoked to go see the bands. I've been getting ready for it all week, especially with the release of 2 new WTK songs today, with the pre-order of their new CD, which of course I got. That's about all I have for now. Look for more engaging topics down the road.

LOVE

So I'm inspired by an organization called To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA). This is a non-profit organization that helps people who suffer from depression, suicide and cutting. I heard about this group from some friends last spring when I was going through a lot in my personal life. By no means was I depressed or considering ending my life but sometimes everyone gets down on themselves. I support this group because of the cause and because they are supported by many bands in the alternative music scene, which is the main genre of music I listen to. I love their shirt designs and don't mind spending the extra money because they are worth the cause.

I tell you that part because I needed people to be familiar with why I became inspired right now. TWLOHA Day is coming up November 13th. People are called on to write the word LOVE on their arms to show support for this cause. Simple enough, right? Well, I decided to start writing it on my wrist last week and keep it there until TWLOHA Day. So it's been on my wrist now since Thursday and each time I look at it I think about all different things going on in my life. Usually it deals with hard times in my life or hard times in the lives of my friends. I've known people who have been depressed and a couple whom have considered suicide. I'm very thankful they could pull through it and be where they are today because they have a great deal of affect on my life.

So I was looking at the word LOVE this morning because, each day, I need to re-trace the word so it does not fade. It's kind of like a renewing of my purpose for having it on there. And it hit me on this sunny morning as I was sitting on my front porch. LOVE. A simple-looking four letter word. However, it is quite possibly the most complicated word in the history of words. I think the impact of the word has to do with my night last night. Last night I went back and read through the blog entries of Craig Bower and Tyler Baxter. All of these entries came from our freshman and sophomore years of college. I cried. I laughed. I haven't been that emotional in a long time. Tyler wrote a great entry about love and what it means to him and his quest to find that special someone he can spend the rest of his life with. It was a great read.

Back to my epiphany this morning. Most of the time I look at the word LOVE I think of 3 people. Tyler, Brett and Craig. Together we were a quad-pod. 4 of the best friends anyone could ever have and inseparable. LOVE is a 4 letter word that I look at and associate with my three best friends. Without those 3, I would have never made it to where I am. I realize that Tyler isn't in my life anymore and I pray for him every night. That doesn't change my love for him and it never will. So, looking down at my wrist, I see a bond of friendship that will never be broken. LOVE stands for so much and it stands for different things for different people. Now I have another meaning to associate it with. To all of you who influence my life, thank you. The LOVE I have for you is probably more than you know.


So here is Tyler's xanga entry from Wednesday, March 23, 2005. It is at the bottom of the page. Please read it. It will be worth your time.

Playoffs?

I had a couple ideas to write about that I had thought about whilst at work. Of course I didn't write them down and cannot remember them. Tonight the Tigers lost to Topeka-Hayden in the first round of the playoffs. That marks the end of the 2009 season and the first season since 1999 that my dad didn't coach. His last season ended agaisnt Hayden last year in a beat down. We all knew what was coming that night, even before we arrived in Topeka. Toward the end of the game I remember spotting my mother sitting by herself. My dad, coach Wallace and coach Hays all knew that this game was their last. No one wanted to admit it though. It was very emotional watching the last seconds tick off the clock. I shed a few tears as did the others. My Dad wouldn't hug me after the game and I knew why. We shared a look and that's all it took. Hugging would have brought us both to tears. My father is downstairs right now, watching television because he couldn't sleep. I think I know why. I love you dad. You'll always be a coach in my eyes.

Halloween 2009 pt. 2

I just wrote one of the best entries of my life and it just all got deleted. Instead of re-doing it all I will just write a summary of everything. This was probably the best weekend I've ever had, only to be rivaled with Cinco de Mayo 2005. That is probably the only time I've ever had experiences like this with my friends. The dancing at the bar, the epic costumes, amazing friends (both old and new), and of course our old friend Jager. There are just so many great parts that I can remember. I'm sure if you know me well enough you have or will hear about it. So I'll leave you guys with some thanks and a couple quotes.

Thanks to: The Bebermeyers, Elli Kingsley, Beer 30, David Crowder Band and co., The starry skies of Oklahoma and Kansas, Jessica, Derek, Wil, Morgan, Jen, Jennifer, Hannah, Abby and Joe.

This section goes out to the men who wore the cardboard suits of awesomeness with me. Branden, Craig and Brett were my brothers in arms saturday and it wouldn't have been the same if anyone else had been with me. I love you guys and your dedication to the idea of the costumes was just amazing. We had some great times, like dancing and singing We Are the Champions. That will never be duplicated. Craig, thanks for crawling into bed with me. I swore 4 years ago I would never cuddle on a twin mattress again and you proved me wrong.

"Why am I wearing your pants?" -Craig Bower

"That tasted awesome, let's pour another one. I mean if that's okay with you guys." -Brett Weller

"Da da da da da da da da da da Batman!" -Branden Heusted.

"Drink Triple, See double, Act single."

Halloween 2009 pt. 1

Most of you know how absolutely excited my friends and I were for this weekend ever since we decided what we wanted to be for Halloween. That, of course, was LEGO Batman characters. We spent more time on these than I've spent on a lot of things in my life. And they turned out amazing. Our costumes were probably the coolest costume I've ever seen. But let's go back to the beginning of the weekend because it was just all so much fun.
Friday: I left Wichita around noon for Tulsa, OK for the David Crowder Band concert. I had to drive most of the way there since Kaleb couldn't go and Elli took his ticket but it was such a beautiful day out that it was refreshing to listen to Crowder and think about things. After some great shopping at the mall we found we headed to the show. I was completely surprised by the venue it was at. Cain's Ballroom was very similar to The Cotillion in Wichita, which means that we were standing the entire time. It was such a good show. Both the opening bands were just really amazing and put on some good performances. Crowder was just awe-inspiring. They were even better than I had heard, if that was possible. Christy was right when she said a DC*B show is a different kind of show.

After the show I left Tulsa for Emporia. It was a 3.5 hour drive that seem just surreal. The sun roof was open and the stars were just brilliant. I had some new cd's that I burned for my trip so I didn't have to use my iPod the whole time. I fell in love with The Avett Brothers cd. It's just a solid cd with great tunes. I rolled into town right as everyone was getting done with Jimmie Johns. We hung out for a couple hours and then hit the sack.

We decided to tailgate saturday afternoon for the homecoming game. It was great to hang out with Joe, Wil, Jessica, Derek and everyone else who I hadn't seen in ages. I miss a lot of my friends from ESU and don't get to see most of them enough. I guess that's life though.

I'm going to head out for awhile and when I return, I will finish the crazy tale of the weekend.