I started walking at night the past week. It gives me great time to think about things like life, school, love, friends, ect. Tonight the stars were at their best. Bright, crisp, it was cloud-free and there was a nice soft moon. This thought was more from last night but tonight I continued my thoughts on the subject. I was trying to decide what makes me happy? What makes you happy? Are they tangible feelings? Is it something that I can buy? Something I can put into a thought or put my finger on? I guess the easiest way to get it all out is to just make a big list of things that make me happy. This list is by no means official, complete or anything of that nature. Just random ideas that pop up.
- Music
-Stars
-Donald Miller Books
-The Kansas countryside
-Teaching kids
-Playing music
-My friends
-My Family
-Thinking deep thoughts
-The Look of Apple products
-Driving
-Colorado
-Riding trails on my bike
-Skinny Jeans
-Hoodies
-Pandas
-Pillow top mattresses
-Down blankets
-Sweats over shorts
-Concerts
-Reading
-Fantasy Football
-Cleaning
That's the list for now. Did I miss anything? What makes you happy??
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Mixed Bag of Topics
I looked up some topics to write about because I wanted some fresh ideas. Instead of writing at length about just one topic I thought maybe I would write about just a few topics. What do you think? Sound okay? Alrighty then. Let's begin....
The book that changed my life: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
The Last Lecture reminds the readers how to lead a more fulfilling and inspired life each day. It is based on a lecture by Randy Pausch about how to reach your childhood dreams. He gave the lecture after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Check it out.
Am I superstitious?
No but I am a little stitious. Ha. I have had many times in my life where I have been very superstitious, usually pertaining to sports. Same socks, same routine, same prayer, shoes laced in a specific way.....and so on. I don't have many superstitions these days but I do have a pair of underwear that I consider lucky. No clue if they are though.
My First Kiss:
It was Jessica Lenhart in 2002. I remember it was during a movie at my parents house. I can remember what she was wearing and that it went better than I thought it would.
My favorite place on this planet:
Well I haven't been to all the places I would love to go but so far it would be Grand Lake, Colorado, as many of you know. If I wanted to get specific I would say the Big Medow along the Adam's Falls hiking trail just outside of town.
The song I couldn't live without:
This one is hard because there are so many styles, genres, moods. I will just go with some songs that I consider go-to songs. They would include: Luckie Street by Cartel, Days Like Masquarades by The Academy Is..., Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer, Jamie All Over by Mayday Parade, Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons, Konstantine by Something Corporate and Everything Must Go (Live from Orensanz) by Taking Back Sunday.
Why I love my hometown:
I love Clay Center, Ks because of the small town feel of it and the scenery. It's a beautiful town with lots of great trees. It is perfect to raise a family and has a pretty good academic district.
Why I don't like my hometown:
Some of the reasons I like my hometown are the same reasons I don't like it. It's small at at least an hour away from a Wal-Mart. Lawrence, a town I love to visit, is over two hours away. It also suffers from what I consider high school cliches. Rumors fly everywhere, you can't do anything without your neighbor knowing.
That will be all for now I think. I don't want to reveal too much about myself of course. I've got to stay mysterious!
The book that changed my life: The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch
The Last Lecture reminds the readers how to lead a more fulfilling and inspired life each day. It is based on a lecture by Randy Pausch about how to reach your childhood dreams. He gave the lecture after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Check it out.
Am I superstitious?
No but I am a little stitious. Ha. I have had many times in my life where I have been very superstitious, usually pertaining to sports. Same socks, same routine, same prayer, shoes laced in a specific way.....and so on. I don't have many superstitions these days but I do have a pair of underwear that I consider lucky. No clue if they are though.
My First Kiss:
It was Jessica Lenhart in 2002. I remember it was during a movie at my parents house. I can remember what she was wearing and that it went better than I thought it would.
My favorite place on this planet:
Well I haven't been to all the places I would love to go but so far it would be Grand Lake, Colorado, as many of you know. If I wanted to get specific I would say the Big Medow along the Adam's Falls hiking trail just outside of town.
The song I couldn't live without:
This one is hard because there are so many styles, genres, moods. I will just go with some songs that I consider go-to songs. They would include: Luckie Street by Cartel, Days Like Masquarades by The Academy Is..., Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer, Jamie All Over by Mayday Parade, Awake My Soul by Mumford and Sons, Konstantine by Something Corporate and Everything Must Go (Live from Orensanz) by Taking Back Sunday.
Why I love my hometown:
I love Clay Center, Ks because of the small town feel of it and the scenery. It's a beautiful town with lots of great trees. It is perfect to raise a family and has a pretty good academic district.
Why I don't like my hometown:
Some of the reasons I like my hometown are the same reasons I don't like it. It's small at at least an hour away from a Wal-Mart. Lawrence, a town I love to visit, is over two hours away. It also suffers from what I consider high school cliches. Rumors fly everywhere, you can't do anything without your neighbor knowing.
That will be all for now I think. I don't want to reveal too much about myself of course. I've got to stay mysterious!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
As we pass the IHOP
I'm struggling to come up with an idea to write about today. I just can't get my mind to settle on a singular topic that I find interesting or that is deep enough to write about. I want to sit here and think about something important but then again, I don't.
In Lit this week we talked about poetry again, and in particular we talked about an elegy. And elegy is something you write to remember someone who has died. Of course we read one about someone who lost their grandfather which made me remember Blackie. It's hard to believe it was almost seven years ago that he passed away. I can remember those days and the hospital and that night that we all slept there. The smells, sounds, the faces of the nurses. I can remember the songs we sang as a family to make sure the last thoughts we had were happy. we cried a little but mostly we celebrated. We celebrated my grandpa because he lived his life until the very end and he lead a full life.
I left the room to let the adults that were there say their goodbyes, his sons and daughters, my Grandma. It was hard to say goodbye knowing that I would never see or talk to him again but I knew that he was going to a place where he would stay forever, waiting to welcome us home, one by one. I gave him a hug, kissed him on his cheek and said my goodbyes. Blackie had me lean over and whispered in my ear "Always do you best. Never give up." Those words didn't always ring throughout me like they should have. Sometimes it takes adversity to remember that those you love will always give the needed advice.
I talked to Blackie before every sporting event I participated in. I carved his initials in my shoulder pads, wrote his name on all my shoes. I didn't take it as far as my Dad, who carried his ashes with him every game he coached. But it felt right, like he was there with us, watching and calling out the defense for us.
It's been so long since that night but it seems like just yesterday. I think about it all the time and I miss you greatly. I haven't always lived by your words but I still haven't given up. And because of you I hope that I never will.
In Lit this week we talked about poetry again, and in particular we talked about an elegy. And elegy is something you write to remember someone who has died. Of course we read one about someone who lost their grandfather which made me remember Blackie. It's hard to believe it was almost seven years ago that he passed away. I can remember those days and the hospital and that night that we all slept there. The smells, sounds, the faces of the nurses. I can remember the songs we sang as a family to make sure the last thoughts we had were happy. we cried a little but mostly we celebrated. We celebrated my grandpa because he lived his life until the very end and he lead a full life.
I left the room to let the adults that were there say their goodbyes, his sons and daughters, my Grandma. It was hard to say goodbye knowing that I would never see or talk to him again but I knew that he was going to a place where he would stay forever, waiting to welcome us home, one by one. I gave him a hug, kissed him on his cheek and said my goodbyes. Blackie had me lean over and whispered in my ear "Always do you best. Never give up." Those words didn't always ring throughout me like they should have. Sometimes it takes adversity to remember that those you love will always give the needed advice.
I talked to Blackie before every sporting event I participated in. I carved his initials in my shoulder pads, wrote his name on all my shoes. I didn't take it as far as my Dad, who carried his ashes with him every game he coached. But it felt right, like he was there with us, watching and calling out the defense for us.
It's been so long since that night but it seems like just yesterday. I think about it all the time and I miss you greatly. I haven't always lived by your words but I still haven't given up. And because of you I hope that I never will.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Songs like this are easy to write
I knew the promise of hope, the hope of you and I
Was false hope, filled with false honesty,
And now that you've shown me the truth of you
I can now move on to the next beautiful girl I see
I have figured situations like this out by now
Enough to fill a book that would become a best-seller
But that knowledge doesn't mean a thing to your kind
You'll call when he leaves you deaf, dumb and blind
Songs like this are easy to read. Especially after this happens time after time.
Was false hope, filled with false honesty,
And now that you've shown me the truth of you
I can now move on to the next beautiful girl I see
I have figured situations like this out by now
Enough to fill a book that would become a best-seller
But that knowledge doesn't mean a thing to your kind
You'll call when he leaves you deaf, dumb and blind
Songs like this are easy to read. Especially after this happens time after time.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Whirlwind
Today is saturday. I'm sure you are all aware of this. I know I am. I am so very aware of this because, per my usual routine, I should be asleep right now; not up, wide awake and done with breakfast. It is my weekend to bring Eli to Manhattan for his Excel classes on the K-State campus. It usually makes for a long day. However, this morning I am sitting in Panera, enjoying their Wi-Fi and enjoying myself.
It's a dreary grey morning full of clouds and sprinkles. I was finding it hard to stay alert and in a good mood. It's a bed day is what this day is. I needed something to pick me up and keep my mind occupied, something worthwhile. I tried reading Sex God by Rob Bell but it just wasn't hitting the spot today. So instead I decided to watch the some of the videos in the Nooma series. My favorite is Whirlwind, which we watched in one of my very first 24 Feet whorships. This is the idea behind the Whirwind video:
A lot of us have gone through times in our lives that are difficult. Some have been small and hard to understand and some have been big and overwhelming. During these times we want answers don't we? We want to know why. Why do we have to suffer? Why do bad things happen to good people? We just want someone to make sense of it all. But we don't always get the answers, do we? Sometimes we are left wondering. And those can be some of the most difficult times. maybe there are times we need to be released from having to have all the answers. And maybe it's when we're released that we are able to see there may be more going on here than we realize.
It's a great video. It's so plain and simple yet I find myself unable to take my eyes off of Rob as he walks and speaks. It's powerful. If you haven't seen Everything Is Spiritual by Rob Bell I highly suggest you go watch it. Brock has it and I'm sure he would love to watch it with you. I find myself forgetting sometimes that we don't always need the answers in life. Sometimes we just need to have faith that we aren't in control and can't be in control. Give in to that feeling.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Wise Words from Mumford and Sons
It's been a weekend of thinking for me. Just about life. About school, life, relationships, money, etc. Life for me is good. I shouldn't complain or make it seem as bad as I do sometimes. It's all about the perspective I put it in. I have friends, free time, a computer, iPod, music, etc. Sure, there are always things that I would like to have in my life that I think would make it better but I need to remember that maybe they wouldn't. Would a new Mac Pro actually make my life easier or simpler? No. But man, that would be awesome to have, right?
I guess to put relationships in perspective I will use this line from "Timshel" by Mumford and Sons. "But I can't move the mountains for you." As much as I want to date person A or B I should realize that, while they would make my life better, more interesting and probably make me happier in general, they can't do everything. They can't put money in my bank account, give me good grades or get me closer to my friends on the weekends. I have too many expectations for people in my life sometimes. I think that a certain person can make me happier all the time when I should know better. I DO know better but I get blinded by the fact that people are always looking for companionship.
Having those lofty expectations will sink a relationship in the end. Thinking that someone can do too much for you puts them in a position they can't win. If I told you that you are the only thing that makes me happy, what happens if you are having a bad day and just can't make others happy? When you need someone to make YOU happy. We all have those days, right? I've done this many times and I've come to understand that it's the most unhealthy thing in a relationship. It's so hard just to enjoy the fact that a person is there, and you can enjoy their company and friendship. Because isn't that the point of being in a relationship? At one point you realized that you were such good friends that you wanted there to be more.
I guess the point of this entry is to just remember that your significant other can't move mountains for you, asking them to do that is unfair to both of you. It's selfish. It's hard to enjoy something that has become a common occurrence and something you take for granted. How easy is it to forget that feeling of getting a text and hoping it's her/him? How easy is it to forget knowing that someone is always there for you, no matter what? When you get that feeling, don't let it go. Because one day, you'll sit here like I am, wishing for that feeling, but also knowing that it can't move your mountains, but it can always help you move them.
I guess to put relationships in perspective I will use this line from "Timshel" by Mumford and Sons. "But I can't move the mountains for you." As much as I want to date person A or B I should realize that, while they would make my life better, more interesting and probably make me happier in general, they can't do everything. They can't put money in my bank account, give me good grades or get me closer to my friends on the weekends. I have too many expectations for people in my life sometimes. I think that a certain person can make me happier all the time when I should know better. I DO know better but I get blinded by the fact that people are always looking for companionship.
Having those lofty expectations will sink a relationship in the end. Thinking that someone can do too much for you puts them in a position they can't win. If I told you that you are the only thing that makes me happy, what happens if you are having a bad day and just can't make others happy? When you need someone to make YOU happy. We all have those days, right? I've done this many times and I've come to understand that it's the most unhealthy thing in a relationship. It's so hard just to enjoy the fact that a person is there, and you can enjoy their company and friendship. Because isn't that the point of being in a relationship? At one point you realized that you were such good friends that you wanted there to be more.
I guess the point of this entry is to just remember that your significant other can't move mountains for you, asking them to do that is unfair to both of you. It's selfish. It's hard to enjoy something that has become a common occurrence and something you take for granted. How easy is it to forget that feeling of getting a text and hoping it's her/him? How easy is it to forget knowing that someone is always there for you, no matter what? When you get that feeling, don't let it go. Because one day, you'll sit here like I am, wishing for that feeling, but also knowing that it can't move your mountains, but it can always help you move them.
Friday, September 10, 2010
From the Mouth of John Mayer
"It's been a long night in New York City, it's been a long time since 22."
-John Mayer
The last two weeks of my life have been pretty wonderful. It has been filled with times spent with great friends and on the road a lot. The highlight was definitely seeing John Mayer in concert. It was just a fabulous experience seeing him in person. I love his music and have heard how his shows are much better than any other and I must say, I wasn't disappointed. It wasn't far and away the best show I've seen but as far as the musicianship in concerned, he blew everyone else away. He could use a better stage and lights designer. Maybe he could use the same one as Coldplay.
One of the reasons John Mayer is so good is because he seems so gracious on stage. He may be an asshole, I've never met him, but on stage he seems genuine and thankful for his fans. He also rambles quite a bit about love and life and finding happiness. It really allows the crowd to see what he is like and hear what's on his mind, which isn't something a lot of artists will do in front of thousands of people. It really makes you engage as his audience I think.
Edge of Desire is my favorite JM song, at least since it came out. I was lucky enough to hear it as the encore of his set which thrilled me to no end. As he picked the intro to the song a few times over he talked about Love. He had rambled a little about Love earlier in the set and so I wasn't sure where it was going. It was the friday of Labor Day weekend so everyone was lucky enough to have a 3-day weekend ahead of them, so John decided that this would be a good idea: He implored the audience to call or text someone. We've all Loved someone, been Loved, wanted to Love or are in Love with someone. He told the audience to let someone know that you were thinking about them and that you wanted to go away for the weekend, that for just 72 hours you should spend your time together.
I wish this were possible. I wish life were this easy. I wish people could just send a text that says hey, I like you, let's go somewhere and hang out, get to know each other. I wish that's the way Love worked. It rarely does though. Love is something that is unique and complicated. Love isn't easy. Finding Love isn't easy. Keeping Love is even harder.
-John Mayer
The last two weeks of my life have been pretty wonderful. It has been filled with times spent with great friends and on the road a lot. The highlight was definitely seeing John Mayer in concert. It was just a fabulous experience seeing him in person. I love his music and have heard how his shows are much better than any other and I must say, I wasn't disappointed. It wasn't far and away the best show I've seen but as far as the musicianship in concerned, he blew everyone else away. He could use a better stage and lights designer. Maybe he could use the same one as Coldplay.
One of the reasons John Mayer is so good is because he seems so gracious on stage. He may be an asshole, I've never met him, but on stage he seems genuine and thankful for his fans. He also rambles quite a bit about love and life and finding happiness. It really allows the crowd to see what he is like and hear what's on his mind, which isn't something a lot of artists will do in front of thousands of people. It really makes you engage as his audience I think.
Edge of Desire is my favorite JM song, at least since it came out. I was lucky enough to hear it as the encore of his set which thrilled me to no end. As he picked the intro to the song a few times over he talked about Love. He had rambled a little about Love earlier in the set and so I wasn't sure where it was going. It was the friday of Labor Day weekend so everyone was lucky enough to have a 3-day weekend ahead of them, so John decided that this would be a good idea: He implored the audience to call or text someone. We've all Loved someone, been Loved, wanted to Love or are in Love with someone. He told the audience to let someone know that you were thinking about them and that you wanted to go away for the weekend, that for just 72 hours you should spend your time together.
I wish this were possible. I wish life were this easy. I wish people could just send a text that says hey, I like you, let's go somewhere and hang out, get to know each other. I wish that's the way Love worked. It rarely does though. Love is something that is unique and complicated. Love isn't easy. Finding Love isn't easy. Keeping Love is even harder.
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