This and That

It's the countdown until the end of the semester and I can't be more happy for that. It has been a wonderful first semester at K-State and I have enjoyed most of my time on and around campus. The "big campus" experience has been a much better one that I had imagined it would be and I am very thankful for that. Brock helped a lot with that because we got to bro-out quite a bit the last few months. I am happy with the way most of my classes went but I know that I could have done better. Hopefully I have adjusted well and next semester will go a little smoother.

One of the hardest parts about this semester was meeting new people. There are a few people that I have become friends with but for the most part everyone is ahead in their graduation plans than I am and it sucks. It will hopefully be better next year because I should be in classes with people who will start their Blocks at the same time as I will. Right now I am playing catch up and everyone I'm meeting now I won't have in classes any more. At least I am meeting some people.

Brett was home this weekend and we got to hang out with just the guys which was really nice. He and I had a good talk in the middle of the street until 3 in the morning, just catching up on life and having the usual pep talks everyone needs from their best friends from time to time. It's nice to have him around. Brock and Dane are great to have around but since I see them so much it's just not the same as getting a face to face talk with Brett or Craig. They know me better than anyone so they can tell when to call me a baby and to suck it up. I guess that's it. Nothing exciting or deep going on right now. Maybe more later?

-It also must be getting close to summer because I've been listening to country more lately.

Rising From The Ashes

"And It's from the ashes that we yearn,
To be the phoenix that rises up from the flames"

-Go Radio

Grace

I'm caught in the rhythms of grace
They overcome all of my ways
Realigning each step everyday
To live for Your glory

Push and Pull

Two years and 5 months. 880 days. Give or take a few. That was the last time I was in a relationship (and no, I didn't know that, I had to go back and add it up). This isn't a big deal to me. In fact, most of the time I love being single. I can spend my time and money with my friends and don't have to worry about saving some for special weekends or stretch myself too thin on the time I have for school work. I can talk to all my friends who are girls without having to worry about jealousy or watching what I say and how flirty I am. As sexist as it is, I can look at a beautiful girls when I see them. No one will slap me for it or not talk to me for 2 days for it.

That being said, there are days or times that I just get a yearning for wanting to date someone. Someone who I can go see, have a deep connection with, that I can get a hug from. There's really nothing like having a girlfriend who compliments your life. No one can complete my life, I do that myself but finding someone who can just make it better and make adventures more fun is something that cannot be replaced by friends.

There's that push of not wanting to be tied down or have the responsibility of having to call someone and stay in touch and make sure they are having a good day and the pull of having all of those things on your plate. Having someone there when you are having a bad day is just a nice thought. Brock and I always see girls at the rec center and just think gosh it would be nice to be able to go out to the movies with her or go have dinner with her.

These thoughts don't ever weigh on me or stay with me too much. The nights I am sitting here by myself and have girls text me are the other times that I feel like having a girlfriend would be nice.

Rambling. That's all this is.

Spring Break Day 7

My day was spent fishing, playing tag with the kids, fishing Reece out of the pond, shopping for antiques, watching KU win, eating entirely too much food and now listening to the new Mae album which I am finding out is very piano-driven and relaxing. Enjoy the pictures. More tomorrow!

The morning view of the big pond.

The view of the cabin from the end of the dock (Reece and Peyton fishing)

The grill getting ready for some pork burgers.

The only "antique" we bought today. Everyone is very excited about this except my Mom. Where else have you seen a fully functioning piece of armor? And for $20?? A picture with someone wearing it tomorrow.

Spring Break Day 6

Spring break continues to be a wonderful time for me. For the third day in a row I got some shopping done. I've gotten some new shirts, some new pants, a new cardigan, some new products from Bath and Bodyworks (girly but the stuff is kickass), a new pillow, and 2 new books. Today I left Wichita for Arkansas City where my Aunt Nancy and Uncle Jay have a cabin outside of town. I'm here with 20 of my closest family members and have been enjoying their company immensely. We watched some basketball, played board games, fished, talked about this summer's vacation and cooked some delicious food. It's great having all my little cousins around to play with and talk to. I rarely get to see them. Tomorrow will be spent shopping and doing a little gambling before we gather for the KU game. Rock Chalk! More pictures to come!

The view from the front porch of the cabin

About 1/3 of the wine barrels that my uncle has out here. These are imported from France and filled with wine from 2009 I believe. Other barrels are from Italy and California

The Lobster

My last post referenced a man many of you do not know. This is a man that I don't really know, at least these days. Tyler Baxter was someone who I could turn to for anything. He was someone who knew what to say when I couldn't find the words, or when others were too scared to say anything. He was someone I admired a great deal. He put his family before everything and for that I guess I shouldn't ever get upset with the way he's treated us. We thought he was our best friend, the fourth leg of our quad-pod group. I have always forgiven him more than the others I think because of the hard things I have been through in my life since I was a freshman at Emporia but he's never ditched me the way he has ditch my other friends.

Tyler is the guy who got me hooked on Kenny Chesney during the summertime. He is the guy who made me want to join Sigma Pi and become a leader that they needed. Tyler was a Washburn guy at heart trying to keep the promises he made to his Emporia State friends. He was the guy who listened to his heart and what was right for him and not what was best for our friendships. I'm not saying it was our faults that we aren't friends with him anymore, but it probably wasn't easy for him. He cut us out of his life for a reason and I pray that he is better off because of it because I miss him dearly. Tyler was one of my best friends in this world and there aren't a lot of people like that bald headed man in it.

I will share the story about why this post is titled "The Lobster." Back in the spring of 2005 my parents were thinking about buying a house for my friends and I to live in after we moved out of the dorms that semester (I am so glad they decided not to). We were all going to live it just like we had all been living together in room 306. Me, Brett, Craig and Tyler were all going to move in. It was a great idea. That is until Tyler came up to us and told us about Sig Pi. He had pledged Sig Pi the first semester we were at Emporia State and decided he was going to move home at Christmas break because he hated it. He quit being a pledge. He didn't like a thing about that town and school. Until he met us. He decided that since he was staying at ESU he would re-pledge Sig Pi. We didn't care about that and thought it would be cool to have a friend in a frat that we could go party at.

But being in Sig Pi obviously meant that he couldn't live with us. It wasn't a devastating blow or something we got mad at him about (especially since Craig and I ended pledging anyway) but we couldn't let him get away with it without giving him a hard time. One day Craig, Brett and I were walking around Wal-Mart and noticed the giant tanks of lobsters they had in the produce area and decided that it looked like a sun burnt Tyler Baxter. Red and bald. Eventually he asked who we were going to have live with us instead of him and we told him that no one would move into the room he was to occupy, but that we would buy a lobster, take care of it, let it grow, and then eventually eat it.

From that time on we called him the Lobster. It's one of those random stories that always makes me laugh and whenever I see an actual lobster or Red Lobster commercial I think of him. And that's what makes his choice to ignore us so hard. I can't just forget about him or all the times we had together. All the close talks we had, the times we cried together. I'm reminded of him constantly and it sucks. I hope, deep down, that he will come with us to celebrate Brett's big day with us guys, the ones who convinced him to stay at a place he hated. Tyler, I love you and pray that you have found an easier life and a better life. We all have and we all miss you just the same.