Reboot.

I just need to reboot.

What does Love mean to me?

I use the word love a lot, probably because it is my favorite word. But what does it really mean? I think you can separate the things you love into two categories: Things that love you back, and things that don't. I don't love actually things that don't love me back, even though I will say that I love the mountains, I love music, I love driving alone with the stars out. I enjoy those things, I need those things, but I don't LOVE them. I love my family, I love my friends, I love God. I love each of those things on a different level of course, but I still love them. I would do anything for my family or friends, but I love my family more than most of my friends. I'm learning to love God more and more each day that he gives me.

I think that the power of love can overcome any obstacle. I believe that you always have someone who is willing to love you, whether that is a family member, a friend or God. You should, even at your darkest moments, feel that there is a love worth living for. At some point soon I am going to get the word love tattooed on my wrist because it holds such great meaning in my life. I have been in a dark place, where there wasn't much light to look forward to and yet I always felt that someone loved me. Having it permanently where I can see it every day is something that will remind me that I need to love, and love the right things.

Significance

What does the word love mean to you? What do you love? Is love enough? Why isn't love always pretty and happy? All of these questions have been posed to me or by me in the last couple of days. Love is thrown around so much that I think it has lost its meaning. Most of the time the "things" we love can't love us back. Why do we waste time loving things that are not meaningful? Love, to me, is a word that has lost its significance in our world. I think that's interesting because the title of my blog translates to LOVE. But what I find good about Greek is that they have at least four different words for love. I think our society needs that. The love I share with Brett is different than the love I share with my Mom. It's different than than the love I have for Emily. It's different than my love for music or God. So what do you love? What significance does it hold?

Hopefully I will have a few more entries on this word because it is the most important word to me. Emily has me attempting to write an entry for 30 days so we shall see if that happens. I hope you follow my 30 day journey!

What's The Point?

What is the point of a blog? There are many reasons to blog. What's the point of my blog? I had that question posed to be tonight and I guess I never really thought about it too much. Most people blog because they want to share their views, they offer something to people. Coach Hays, for example, shares workouts for people. Some people blog because their creative juices far exceed anything my brain could think of. Me though, I guess my blog has no real big, far-reaching void to fill. It is mainly just to share my frustrations, share music that inspires me, share whatever whims may spin through my brain. I guess it is pretty much here to share my thoughts at those times when people are asleep or busy. I go through things in my life that most people go though. I have the same thoughts and emotions that everyone in college does. This is just an outlet for all those thoughts, inspirations and emotions. Just my own safe haven.

Words

I want words to come out but nothing is. Hmm. This is a weird feeling. Do you ever struggle with words? It happens to us all. I guess lyrics will have to do again. As John Mark said in the video on How He Loves, I process feelings through music. There's a song for every emotion that is written by someone who is better with words than I. What song should I choose to sing tonight? I had better find the right words.

Murdered Son

Murdered Son by John Mark McMillan

Glory to One
God’s murdered Son
Who paid for my resurrection
Once from the dust, once from the grave
Daughters and sons from the ashes you’ve raised
And hidden our faults even from your own face
And scattered our debt upon the waves

How He Loves: A Story

This video is such an amazing and emotional one. The song is one of my favorites to sing and play and this video just explains what the song means to its writer.

Struggle

Tonight has been a night of struggle for me. It has been hard because I saw someone today for the first time in a couple of years and, while I had never forgotten how much they meant to me, I had pretty much given up on them. It's a sad thing when you give up on someone that you once considered one of your very best friends. It takes a lot for me to give up on a friend and I'm not sure that I have given up on anyone else in my life. That is why tonight has been a struggle. How can I consider myself a truly great friend if I give up on someone? Shouldn't I always try to get through to them, no matter what it takes? Shouldn't I always let them know that they can always tell me what is going on in their life, no matter how bad it is?

Tyler,

I know that what you did was for the best, at least for you. But what hurt so much was the fact that you never just told us. I expected more from my best friend. After all these years and all I want is an explanation. Is that too much to ask from someone who you were so close to? I guess for some people it is too much to ask. Maybe I gave up on you because you had given up on us, and yourself. That doesn't make seeing you any less painful. At least act like you ditched us 5 years ago, that you never returned a call or made an effort to visit us. I forgive you, I will never stop believing in you or being your friend, but please, just give me an explanation. I just want my friend back after all these years.

Now Playing: Hide Away by Ben Rector