Challenge Accepted

I just got done with my first Linguistics paper and now it's time to blog! I have been meaning to for the last couple of nights but between running more and homework it has just not gotten done. Tonight was my first Christian Challenge experience at K-State and I can't tell you how moving it was. Between the music and the message it was just the thing I needed at this moment. It's funny how that always seems to happen, right? It was a much larger crowd than I had envisioned it would be which is a great thing in itself. This had almost a concert feel to it with everyone singing along to the music, swaying to and fro. I got a chill at one point just listening to everyone and knowing that, while I may not know more than six people there, I know exactly what most of them where feeling at that moment. There's just something special about being in a giant room and having a night of worship. Some days I question my spirituality and wonder about religion but I don't think that is a bad thing. But nights like tonight show me the path that I want to follow.

Brock and I approached Nate, one of the musical leaders, about playing with the group every now and then and it was a wonderful conversation. I am joining a LIFE group this semester and I can't be more excited. At first I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to join one for a couple of reasons. I am already worried about not having enough time this semester for school because of the grades I need to get. But I think that it will force me to spend my time more wisely and keep me away from frivolous things, unimportant things. Also it will hopefully lead to a chance to play at Challenge and that would be such an amazing experience. I've played at churches here in town and small settings for worship but I don't think any of those would compare to this. I really just feel like I have such a passion for music and I want to share it with others and help them experience the feeling that music gives me. I know Brock feels the same way and I hope he gets a chance, even more so that myself.

Another reason I was skeptical of joining a LIFE group was because I'm not the best at sharing my beliefs. I feel guilty being in the presence of true believers sometimes because I'm new to the party, so to speak. I'm still learning about what I believe and learning about Christ and I feel embarrassed. I know it's not something I should feel but I do. I haven't always lived a good life and I have always been afraid of not being accepted because of it (even though that is totally against the idea of being a Christian, it's just a hard thought to buck). I am excited to get the opportunity to share and have people share their testimonials with me.

The other day my teacher asked our class to discuss with a partner what we would be doing in ten years. One of my first thoughts was that I would love to be playing music at whatever church I will be attending at that point in my life. Of course sometimes saying things like that can make people uncomfortable, especially in such a small class. However, after listening to so many people share where they wanted to be, many of my classmates talked openly about their religion and wanting to help people. Again, I felt embarrassed that I would hide one of my true passions. I don't want to be someone who makes others uncomfortable because of my beliefs but I also shouldn't be ashamed to admit it either. I saw a couple of classmates at Challenge tonight so hopefully one day I can tell everyone how proud I am to be playing music for them and that I hope they enjoy hearing my playing.

I am so blessed to have good people in my life. I love you all.

Now Playing: Cannons by Phil Wickham