Most of you who read this, if not all of you, know my current situation in my personal life. I'm not sure what it's classified as but, whatever "it" is, you know where I stand. So during the past couple of months I've thought a lot about relationships and everything that goes along with them. It has been quite a long time since I've dated anyone and for the longest time I didn't want to. I wasn't ready to let anyone else in. I've been ready for awhile now but there just wasn't anyone I felt comfortable enough around. I'm not sure if this will all work out but it's got the wheels put in motion and so I wanted to just write a few things that are spinning around up in my head.
I've heard it many times before but there's an old saying and it states "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." I'm not sure if this always holds true but if two people in a relationship care for each other then yes, I think that can happen. Being in a relationship with someone over a distance of significance, which I think is over 30 minutes, is hard work. It's honestly like another job. I've been in one before and that relationship grew leaps and bounds while we were away from each other and even more so when we were together. But some people aren't willing to put in the work.
Being away from each other is the reason it's hard work. There are more obstacles in being away from each other. When you have a hard day that person isn't there. When you need a hug you can't get one. When you want to give a hug, there's no one there to receive it. It's hard to fulfill what you need out of a relationship emotionally if you aren't willing to work. It's hard to fulfill your needs physically without that person around on a regular basis. There's no words to describe what a simple look can do for a person when you're having a terrible day.
However, just because that void may be there, that doesn't mean you cannot build a solid relationship. It is my belief that it is easier to find out if a relationship will work out in the long run if you can stay together while you are apart. You can foster a better communication because there is so much to convey every day. You have to be able to talk to each other in order for a relationship to work. You must also have trust. Nothing builds trust or ruins trust like being apart.
Those are just a few of my thoughts that were running through my mind. "Brick walls are not put up to keep us from something, Brick walls are put up to show us how much we want something"
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Things to work on this week pt. 2
So I thought I would update everyone on my progress from earlier in the week. I have done well on the exercise part. I want to get in one to two more days if I stay in town this weekend and that would be a good start. I haven't decided on what to do this weekend but I imagine I will stay at home. I have been good at keeping my fingernails on my fingers but there's still a few days left. I'm still working at it. That's about all I've accomplished this week. I've still got time to work on my list so we'll see how it goes.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Things to work on this week....
Things to work on this week....
-Work out 3-4 times. I ran a mile and a half tonight. Kempo in the morning.
-Not chew my fingernails.
-Get through some new music including Mutemath, Motion City Soundtrack and Friendly Fires.
-Wash my car.
-Nail down my plans for the weekend.
-Finish cleaning my "Man Cave"
-Finish reading "The Last Lecture"
I'm re-reading The Last Lecture for the second time. It's a very powerful book and I started making the parts that I thought were most important. Randy Pausch gives great advice to the reader and it's very inspiring. Try reading it sometime.
-Work out 3-4 times. I ran a mile and a half tonight. Kempo in the morning.
-Not chew my fingernails.
-Get through some new music including Mutemath, Motion City Soundtrack and Friendly Fires.
-Wash my car.
-Nail down my plans for the weekend.
-Finish cleaning my "Man Cave"
-Finish reading "The Last Lecture"
I'm re-reading The Last Lecture for the second time. It's a very powerful book and I started making the parts that I thought were most important. Randy Pausch gives great advice to the reader and it's very inspiring. Try reading it sometime.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
My Perfect Woman
My attempt in this blog is to try and write an entry every day or at least every other day. I know there will be times that I fail to keep up when my life gets buys, so just on the weekends. However, during the week I am usually free. Tonight I decided to pick a topic that takes some thought and I'm not sure where I got this topic from but it has been rattling in my brain for a week or so. I wanted to try and answer what my perfect woman would be like. I will attempt to answer this question as best that I can. Here we go....
I must start with the things in my life that mean the most to me. One thing that didn't work out in my favor in my last relationship was our differing views on music. This didn't seem like a huge deal but I found out that it is a huge deal. The spectrum of music that I enjoy is about as wide as anyone that I know. I listen to everything and have certain mood music that I just have to listen to sometimes. I need a gal who can listen to many different genres of music and who loves to go to concerts, both big and small. I would prefer someone who is into more alternative and indie music because most of the time that's what I listen to. Country is fine, pop is fine, rock is fine. Rap, eh. Maybe. I enjoy to dance and sing. I would love to date a woman who is the same way!
Many of you may have noticed, but I can be very introverted at times. I do love going out with friends and going out on the town to the movies or shopping. It's always a fun thing to do. However, I love to be alone and read, write, listen to music, nap, just chill sometimes. Finding an independent woman is pretty important to me. Someone who is logical and loves to read and write. If I can sit in a room and read and have a woman who can be in the same room reading would be awesome!
Sports are another thing that I love. I follow sports as closely as I follow music. It's just a part of my life. I don't need to be with someone who is a sports junkie by any means. If a woman can sit down and watch sports every once in awhile that is great. If they don't like sports as much as I do that is quite all right. We don't need to be playing on softball teams together, but going to sporting events is a fun thing to do every once in awhile.
I've gone through my life without a direction as far as what I wanted to do for the rest of life and most of you know that. As I start having a better grasp on that I can understand how not knowing what you want to do can strain a relationship. So knowing that, a woman who is passionate about whatever it is she wants to do is a must. I don't care about how much money she makes or the hours she keeps. As long as she is happy doing it then that's great. Sometimes the jobs that pay the least are the most satisfying.
Other than the things listed above there's not a definite yay or ney that I find a must. Of course finding someone you are attracted to is usually how things go. The more common things you have is usually better, but I also love to have someone who is interested in the things I'm not because it's fun to get into new things. I'm definitely not picky when it comes to hair, although I've always dated brunettes. That's just how the dice have landed so far. Oh and one last semi-important thing: if a woman can play with my hair I am sold. Or play the guitar.
I must start with the things in my life that mean the most to me. One thing that didn't work out in my favor in my last relationship was our differing views on music. This didn't seem like a huge deal but I found out that it is a huge deal. The spectrum of music that I enjoy is about as wide as anyone that I know. I listen to everything and have certain mood music that I just have to listen to sometimes. I need a gal who can listen to many different genres of music and who loves to go to concerts, both big and small. I would prefer someone who is into more alternative and indie music because most of the time that's what I listen to. Country is fine, pop is fine, rock is fine. Rap, eh. Maybe. I enjoy to dance and sing. I would love to date a woman who is the same way!
Many of you may have noticed, but I can be very introverted at times. I do love going out with friends and going out on the town to the movies or shopping. It's always a fun thing to do. However, I love to be alone and read, write, listen to music, nap, just chill sometimes. Finding an independent woman is pretty important to me. Someone who is logical and loves to read and write. If I can sit in a room and read and have a woman who can be in the same room reading would be awesome!
Sports are another thing that I love. I follow sports as closely as I follow music. It's just a part of my life. I don't need to be with someone who is a sports junkie by any means. If a woman can sit down and watch sports every once in awhile that is great. If they don't like sports as much as I do that is quite all right. We don't need to be playing on softball teams together, but going to sporting events is a fun thing to do every once in awhile.
I've gone through my life without a direction as far as what I wanted to do for the rest of life and most of you know that. As I start having a better grasp on that I can understand how not knowing what you want to do can strain a relationship. So knowing that, a woman who is passionate about whatever it is she wants to do is a must. I don't care about how much money she makes or the hours she keeps. As long as she is happy doing it then that's great. Sometimes the jobs that pay the least are the most satisfying.
Other than the things listed above there's not a definite yay or ney that I find a must. Of course finding someone you are attracted to is usually how things go. The more common things you have is usually better, but I also love to have someone who is interested in the things I'm not because it's fun to get into new things. I'm definitely not picky when it comes to hair, although I've always dated brunettes. That's just how the dice have landed so far. Oh and one last semi-important thing: if a woman can play with my hair I am sold. Or play the guitar.
Monday, January 11, 2010
2010 and Beyond
So every year people make resolutions, a list of things they want to change about themselves. On paper that seems like a wonderful idea full of promise. However, people rarely hold themselves to the changes they want to make. The reasons for this are simple. We are creatures of habit and there is usually no one to hold us to our "resolutions." It's just too hard to simply tell yourself you will change and have it actually happen. We all fail at this so don't feel too bad about yourself and your will power when you don't actually uphold the changes you want to make.
The other weekend I saw one of my favorite bands, Abandon Kansas play a show down in Wichita and at this show their singer Jeremy Spring talked a little about resolutions and how people fail at them. He told the audience that they shouldn't be afraid to fail because they will. No one is perfect. The key is in how you attempt the changes you want to make. Trying to wake up one day and be a changed person won't work. However, if you wake up each day and tel yourself "Today I won't......" then you are more likely to make changes slowly. And when you fail one day you can start over the next day.
The ideas Jeremy talked about stuck with me and so each day I wake up with something that I want to work on. So far I have succeeded in most things I've tried to work on. There are some things that I want to work on this year and so I will list them off, in no particular order of course.
-Blog on a more regular basis
-Spend more time around my family when I'm at home
-Read more books. Specifically books that challenge the way I think
-Watch less television
-Chew my fingernails less. It's nasty, I know
-Spend less money
-Write letters to people
-Go on a date with Cassadee Pope from Hey Monday
-Play music more
-Make it to the mountains at least twice
-Curse less. This isn't a problem until I get around the guys and/or play xbox
-Go back to school
Most of these things aren't big things but it would be nice to try and work them into my daily routine. I didn't put down that I want to work out more because, let's be honest, who doesn't want or need to? All of them except the date with Cassadee Pope are pretty realistic and aren't drastic changes by any means but they are things that would make things a little more enjoyable I think. Oh and except for going back to school. That's pretty big. It will happen this fall and I am very ready for it.
The other weekend I saw one of my favorite bands, Abandon Kansas play a show down in Wichita and at this show their singer Jeremy Spring talked a little about resolutions and how people fail at them. He told the audience that they shouldn't be afraid to fail because they will. No one is perfect. The key is in how you attempt the changes you want to make. Trying to wake up one day and be a changed person won't work. However, if you wake up each day and tel yourself "Today I won't......" then you are more likely to make changes slowly. And when you fail one day you can start over the next day.
The ideas Jeremy talked about stuck with me and so each day I wake up with something that I want to work on. So far I have succeeded in most things I've tried to work on. There are some things that I want to work on this year and so I will list them off, in no particular order of course.
-Blog on a more regular basis
-Spend more time around my family when I'm at home
-Read more books. Specifically books that challenge the way I think
-Watch less television
-Chew my fingernails less. It's nasty, I know
-Spend less money
-Write letters to people
-Go on a date with Cassadee Pope from Hey Monday
-Play music more
-Make it to the mountains at least twice
-Curse less. This isn't a problem until I get around the guys and/or play xbox
-Go back to school
Most of these things aren't big things but it would be nice to try and work them into my daily routine. I didn't put down that I want to work out more because, let's be honest, who doesn't want or need to? All of them except the date with Cassadee Pope are pretty realistic and aren't drastic changes by any means but they are things that would make things a little more enjoyable I think. Oh and except for going back to school. That's pretty big. It will happen this fall and I am very ready for it.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
A Decade Under the Influence
2009, as a year, was a turning point in my life. I started over with my life in hopes that I would find my way and become happier in general. Today I was driving back from Lawrence with a lot on my mind and started to wonder whether or not I could consider 2009 a successful year. I had a lot I wanted to accomplish as a person and some I reached some of those goals. Some of them I am still struggling with today.
I moved back home in pretty rough shape and I was determined to make last year a year in which I would start to grow and define myself. I think I accomplished this. I am a better friend today than I was at the start of last year. That's not to say I don't have plenty of room to grow, because I never want to stop trying to be a better friend. It took the broken friendship of one of my closest friends to help me see friends through a different prism.
I also became friends with new people in my life and my life will probably never be the same for it. Brock, Christy, Dane and everyone else in Clay Center have helped me grow as a person and consider my life in broader terms than I had before. For that I am eternally grateful. All my friends and I have had our struggles this year and I'm sure that trend will never go away but I am confident in our abilities to cope with those struggles better than we had before.
The reason I moved home is a well told story to most of you. If it's not, let's sit down and talk about it sometime. I was a broken person. It took me a very long time to get past my personal struggles and realize how much better off I was because of the pain I went through. Heartbreak is not an easy thing to cope with, no matter how strong you are. It took me awhile to realize I am happy being independent because it had been so long since I had been without someone to worry about, to love, to hold. But in the end, I am stronger and happier.
I made a great effort to live my life to the fullest every day and I think that was quite obvious to most. I was always on the go, driving endlessly across the state of Kansas. I went to concerts, visited friends who have all gone separate ways and I spent time driving alone trying to collect my thoughts. It wasn't always a smart move (I did spend too much money) but I always had fun. I never want to regret missing out on something, some memory or time with my friends and I think I accomplished that. I look forward to making many more memories with my friends and driving way too much again this year.
Of course, the biggest event in my life in 2009 was my back surgery. I put off my back problems for many months (from February til June), until it finally had enough of my stubbornness. From June to August I was unable to enjoy my life as I once had and that was very hard on me. I tried to be as happy as I could and just told myself it was all happening for the best. That's a hard thing to go through at the ripe age of 24. I got through surgery and spent the last 4 months of the year recovering from that. I could never have done it without my family and friends. I know they are tired of my back and of me but they rarely let me know it.
2009 was a year I will never forget and after all the things that happened in those 365 days I can call it one of the best and most trying times of my short life. I have so many memories, good and bad, that I will never forget. LEGO consumes, Abandon Kansas, DCB, Green Day, Colorado, Mass Street, Macho Crown, Man Weekends, The Hangover, Fire pits, We The Kings.
It was a decade spent under the influence, to steal the phrase from Taking Back Sunday. I hope the next 10 years test me as much as the last 10 have. Thank you to everyone out there who had an influence on my year. Good or bad it had an impact in some way. Oh, Happiness!
I moved back home in pretty rough shape and I was determined to make last year a year in which I would start to grow and define myself. I think I accomplished this. I am a better friend today than I was at the start of last year. That's not to say I don't have plenty of room to grow, because I never want to stop trying to be a better friend. It took the broken friendship of one of my closest friends to help me see friends through a different prism.
I also became friends with new people in my life and my life will probably never be the same for it. Brock, Christy, Dane and everyone else in Clay Center have helped me grow as a person and consider my life in broader terms than I had before. For that I am eternally grateful. All my friends and I have had our struggles this year and I'm sure that trend will never go away but I am confident in our abilities to cope with those struggles better than we had before.
The reason I moved home is a well told story to most of you. If it's not, let's sit down and talk about it sometime. I was a broken person. It took me a very long time to get past my personal struggles and realize how much better off I was because of the pain I went through. Heartbreak is not an easy thing to cope with, no matter how strong you are. It took me awhile to realize I am happy being independent because it had been so long since I had been without someone to worry about, to love, to hold. But in the end, I am stronger and happier.
I made a great effort to live my life to the fullest every day and I think that was quite obvious to most. I was always on the go, driving endlessly across the state of Kansas. I went to concerts, visited friends who have all gone separate ways and I spent time driving alone trying to collect my thoughts. It wasn't always a smart move (I did spend too much money) but I always had fun. I never want to regret missing out on something, some memory or time with my friends and I think I accomplished that. I look forward to making many more memories with my friends and driving way too much again this year.
Of course, the biggest event in my life in 2009 was my back surgery. I put off my back problems for many months (from February til June), until it finally had enough of my stubbornness. From June to August I was unable to enjoy my life as I once had and that was very hard on me. I tried to be as happy as I could and just told myself it was all happening for the best. That's a hard thing to go through at the ripe age of 24. I got through surgery and spent the last 4 months of the year recovering from that. I could never have done it without my family and friends. I know they are tired of my back and of me but they rarely let me know it.
2009 was a year I will never forget and after all the things that happened in those 365 days I can call it one of the best and most trying times of my short life. I have so many memories, good and bad, that I will never forget. LEGO consumes, Abandon Kansas, DCB, Green Day, Colorado, Mass Street, Macho Crown, Man Weekends, The Hangover, Fire pits, We The Kings.
It was a decade spent under the influence, to steal the phrase from Taking Back Sunday. I hope the next 10 years test me as much as the last 10 have. Thank you to everyone out there who had an influence on my year. Good or bad it had an impact in some way. Oh, Happiness!
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