Most of the Same

It's been a long time since I've been on this thing and I apologize, mostly to myself for ignoring my blog. I've needed to write out ideas and thoughts badly but I have just found myself going to friends for those needed vent sessions instead. That's not a bad thing but sometimes just writing down ideas helps as well. A lot has transpired in my life in the last month I've been away and I can say that it has been a happy month.

I had two vacations that were a nice break from work and the monotonous end of summer weeks that had crept in around the time I was done working for the school. The mountains were beautiful and serene. It was a great time spent driving and thinking about how the next few years should go for me. I can't ever seem to go a few days without wishing I were in the mountains, sitting my the stream or in a meadow just enjoying the sights and sounds. Right now I'm missing them badly.

School is now in full swing and it's a little terrifying. I've been overwhelmed at times and comfortable as well. I feel like I'm more prepared this time than I was last time around and that makes it a little easier. The long breaks in between classes have provided me the time to get work done so that my nights are free from the stresses of homework. It is such a different environment here than I have experienced at Emporia State. I spent my first day between classes just watching people and writing about it. I wish it were more like ESU but I prefer the class size and professors here.

As usual I have been listening to lots of music and finding new stuff. Nothing really exciting but it's always nice to have new stuff on my trips to class. Pilot has another show coming up which is pretty exciting. I'm looking forward to playing the songs we're playing. They are fun and upbeat songs. I'm terrified to sing though. It's been years since I have sang into a microphone in front of others. I will enjoy it once the day gets here.

So I guess that is it for now. Nothing real deep or thoughtful. I'll try and do that kind of post soon though. For myself mostly. With LOVE.

Life on the river

"As I'm looking to the sky to count the stars, I wonder if you see them where you are?" This line has been stuck in my head all day long. I usually think about it when we're swimming because the stars are out but I woke up with it in my head this morning and you haven't left my thoughts. It's not a bad thing at all though.

It's been a good week with no internet, cable or telephone, although I have used my phone and the internet now and then. Not having them in my life has helped out quite a bit getting things accomplished. The best feeling has been getting my desk set back up. Eli has had it since I moved home and it's great to have it ready for school.

My reading has gone very well too. Crazy Love is such a wonderful book. One of my fellow Jamoreer's read the chapter I was on as well and she really enjoyed it as well. We had a good talk regarding life and death. I took a nice walk around the big barn gazing at the stars and wondering why I'm living the life that I am and why I've been put in the situations that I've been put it. Deep stuff, I know. It was a great weekend with friends and I had a good experience. I could stand to have a few less people though.

After hanging out with 50 people, drinking a little, dancing a lot and generally having a good time I can't help but think that I have a blessed life. I have friends that I care deeply for, I have a family that supports me and that enables me to be the best person I can be. I've made some horrible decisions in my life but every day I wake up feeling like I'm learning from them and at least I'm trying to change my life and make it better.

I can't help but wonder if some of those people on the Jamboree will be there next year. As Crazy Love states:

"But it's easy to think about today as just another day. An average day where you go about life concerned with your to-do list, preoccupied by appointments, focused on family, thinking about your desires and needs."

Some of my friends don't make smart decisions and I'm so afraid one day it will lead to an early exit for them from this earth. Heck, it almost happened saturday on the river. "You might not make it through today." Some people don't consider their actions and the consequences they will reap the next day. While I understand the need for letting loose and having fun (I've done this more than necessary) there comes a time in one's life where responsibility takes over. About half the people this weekend haven't grown up enough. One day I will be floating the river in remembrance to those friends and hopefully helping others make better decisions.

Be smart, be safe, have fun. I hear that every time I leave my house to go visit friends from my parents. To the point and just the necessary information. That's why I love them. They pray I'll make the right choices and get home safe and sound. One day I want to tell my child that and know it will be okay.

Be still, and know.

Now Playing: For Emma by Bon Iver.

30 Hardest Days of My Life

Today was a big day for me. I made a huge decision in my life that I'm hoping will lead towards a better time, a happier time, a more content time. I decided to give up my cell phone, internet, television and most importantly social media for 30 days. Brock and I talked about this a few times and it always seemed like a good idea but never something that would I would be able to go through with. On my drive from Lawrence to Salina today I had a friend tell me that she spent too much time on her phone and not enough time working on her own life. That was all I needed to decide to go through with it.

At 24 Feet tonight we watched a NOOMA video called Noise. Watch it please. It re-affirmed my belief that this was something I needed to do in my life, especially before school starts. I will use my house phone for people needing to get ahold of me because I don't want to inconvenience anyone much more than needed. 632-3751. Feel free to call. Also, one of the things I'm excited for is writing letters. I plan on writing letters daily about what I'm reading that day, what my thoughts are and such. I love writing and sending letters but it just isn't the thing to do these days. I'm bringing it back.

To go along with this I have a few books to read, including Crazy Love by Francis Chan, The Shack and The Purpose Driven Life. The point of thise is to work on what I need to change in my life and to hopefully find a better reason for the life I lead. I'll also break one rule and use internet to hopefully update my blog. For only that reason though. Wish me luck as I attempt to lead a different and hopefully more fulfilling life for a month. God Bless.

"Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10)

Another Year full of Memories

So it's been 365 days since my last birthday. Well 364 but that's not the point. It's been a long year in my life but one that has turned out to be a blessing. As I've spent the last few days by myself contemplating all of those days that I spent on this Earth I came to a few realizations.

1. Every time I think that my parents are the best parents I could ask for they make me realize that I was right, but that they do more than I ever know. I don't tell them I love them enough and I'm not always the best son but I wouldn't ever change who my parents are. Hopefully one day I can show them that the investment they've made over 25 years wasn't for naught.

2. Every time I think that my friends are the best friends I could ask for they make me realize I was right, but they are even better than could have hoped for. The last year of my life was a struggle physically and mentally and I couldn't have made it through if it weren't for my support system (Brett, Craig, Brock, Dane, Christy and others) I would be pretty miserable. Whether it's playing music with Brock and Dane or golfing with the guys I'm always amazed at how God has put these different people in my life.

3. I have growing to do. Most people can list off their faults and know what they do wrong and I'm one of those people. I won't go through and list them but I do know what my weak points are. Getting ready to go back to school made me realize that I've still got more of my old self in me than I really want. Some days it's a struggle to make the necessary changes stick but I just pray that one day I will be the person I want to be.

I keep looking back at all the memories I've made since July 8th of last year and there are so many. Here are a few that I will never forget.........

Trail riding in Lawrence, Driving in the mountains alone, Back surgery, Abandon Kansas concerts, Lego Costumes, 24 Feet, Winfield, All Time Low, Passion Pit, Mayday Parade, Call of Duty, PowerBall mania, 30 Hour Famine, Hawk Mud Fest and Riley.

I lead a blessed life that I never appreciate enough. Thank you to everyone who has been involved in my life because without all of you I wouldn't be a happy camper (or just a camper).

"I've met great friends, I've seen great times, I've been in love and I've seen love die, But nothing's as good as when I close my eyes and feel that road that's led me through this life, It's a good life that's kept me on my feet.....I'll take a chance on every breathe like it's my last. Don't ever forget all the sleepless nights we stay up until the sun would rise, No matter how far you get I'll be a step behind to catch you when you fall down."
The Good Life by Valencia

You.

I felt the need to blog so I thought I would ask a friend what I should write about. She suggested herself. She's had a few drinks I'm fairly certain but I decided to agree to her wishes and write about her. I have the slightest clue where to take this entry but I will attempt to take it somewhere. And off we go....
When I think of her music is my first thought. Amazing taste in music this girl has. I will be honest and say that I think it's hard to find a girl who shares the same taste in music that I do. I've typed about it before but it's true. The song that comes to mind is Daughters by John Mayer. First of all because she loves John Mayer and second because I think that it fits her pretty well. For those of you who don't know what the song is about, just go check it out. It fits a few girls in my life, this one in particular though.
This girl is beautiful. She is very naturally good-looking and although she thinks she has a weird nose, I have yet to notice it. Short blonde hair. Gets me every time. She looks great dressed up or dressed down. Tan. Ball game.
I haven't seen her in ages and I wish we lived closer because both of us are pretty busy and can't seem to get away to visit the other. Also, she's never seen the mountains. HOLY COW! I almost asked her to come with my in July but know that she's also very busy and probably couldn't take 3 days off work. Even though it would be worth it.
So here's your entry Love, it's not much but it's from the heart. I could write more but it would get me in trouble. You are everything a guy could ask for. We have many great conversations and I will leave You with a quote that reminds me of one of them.....

"And Our Dreams Are Who We Are."

A Million Miles In A Thousand Years

I recently finished A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller. It is a wonderful book where the reader follows the author as he edits his life to see if it would be worthy of a movie. What he finds is that, like a movie, lives have memorable scenes as well. Your life may not be as exciting as a movie but that's because movies aren't real. Life doesn't happen like The Notebook or like The Hangover. Sure, each life will have memories like some scenes but your whole life cannot be that way. That's why we go to the movies and think "I wish my life was like that." It is, just not every day. Scenes in movies often take place in strange places.
One line that sticks out to me was near the end of the book and I would like to share it with you. "When we look back on our lives, what we will remember are the crazy things we did, the times we worked harder to make a day stand out." Like in the movies, you remember those memories you have while in a strange scene. You won't remember sitting a home on a saturday with your friends playing video games but you will remember sitting in a pasture during a lightning storm talking about why you love someone.

A Million Miles In A Thousand Years makes me want to leave right now, grab 3 friends and head any direction. We don't need to have a destination. That would be much more memorable than sitting here watching football (soccer) and typing on my computer. It makes me think of the song by Valencia called "The Good Life." Listen to it and read this book. They will change your life. That is the hope anyway.

Good Lovin' by Travis Clark

This song is a demo by Travis Clark, who is the lead singer of We The Kings. I love that it's just him and his guitar. That's all.

Verse 1
A small town boy meets a big city girl
In the summer sun, having fun
She fell in love, she can't believe it
The apple of his eye, she's the center of his world
But it breaks his heart when she takes the next flight
And why's she leaving good lovin'?

Verse 2
He says, I don't know what to do cause
I'm so in love with you
But we're miles apart, far away
But in my heart you'll always stay close to me
And I'll be close to you
Fall is a falling, he's really calling
What's a girl supposed to do?

Chorus
And go back, go back baby
Before it's too late, it's too late maybe
He's going to find him someone else
To get you off his mind
And that summer she thought it was nothing
But she was leaving good lovin'

Verse 3
So the story goes and he wonders why she chose
Does she take a chance, on true romance
Or spend the nights alone
She writes, I'll never ever love someone
The way that I love you
And in this whole world there's nothing more
That I want more than coming home to you

Outro
Small town boy and his small town girl, good lovin'