Epiphany

I heard this song on Jersey Shore the other night and just loved it. It's not the best song ever but it fit the episode and every once in awhile applies to myself. I know, you're saying to yourself, "Really Ian? Jersey Shore?" Sue me. It's one of my guilty pleasures.

"I tried so damn hard to fix you

To make you believe in what I see

If you want to be broken, be broken

I won't dare try to mend you again

I've tried my best to get through

But there's no getting in"

The lyrics just fit sometimes. There's only so much energy and time I can give you before I should realize what I'm doing won't ever work. It's just not that easy. Nothing ever really is. Don't we all need that one moment of clarity, that epiphany that allows us to say, "I'm dumb for continuing to try." I haven't had it yet but one of these days it will happen. Life is never easy and I'm not sure one can ever have that moment of instant understanding. For instance, do you believe in love at first sight? I don't. I don't think you can love anyone the first time you meet them. Lust at first sight would fit. But lust isn't something we search for, something we yearn for. Love is. Everyone wants to be loved and to love, plain and simple.

This song is for you. I do my best to show you how I see you because you can't see that for yourself. All I can do is remind you how wonderful you are because no one else does. I'm not sure if you will ever be whole again but sometimes I think I could solve that. I don't try and mend you because I'm not sure you want that from me. Were you broken beyond repair? Only one person can answer that, although I'm not sure you can yourself.