Stars

"As I look up to the sky to count the stars, I wonder if you see them where you are"

Tonight Brett and I spent 5 hours hanging out in a pool and drinking a few beers. Dane and Brock joined us after a few hours. We had some good talks about things and it was just a nice and relaxing evening. I had a few friends who had been drinking and they were sending texts and we were having some interesting conversations. It wasn't all easy conversation but oh well. It was nice to have Brett there so I could bounce my thoughts off of him. I would have been a wreck without him. Some of the things pushed the wrong buttons but as is life. We saw well over 50 shooting stars throughout the night and it was just beautiful to enjoy the night sky with someone who never gets to see a sky like ours. The stars always give me hope. There is so much out there if you just keep looking. It's bright and beautiful. Always remember that as you look up to the sky for inspiration or if you are just having a bad day.

Dancing Under The Moonlight

I should be in bed because I have to be up in 6 hours doing more yard work. I enjoy being outside and working on all these projects with my Dad but it is just killing me. The heat got to me yesterday but it's just very strenuous work to be honest and I don't get enough sleep to counter-act that. But at least our back yard is starting to look fabulous.

The other day I was thinking about what my "perfect" date would be. I'm not sure how I got on the subject but I was there. It's hard because after thinking about the topic my response was, "Well, it depends on who I am taking out and what they enjoy." Movies are just a bad choice all around. For us grown ups, a place that allows conversation is needed. If my date and I had a similar interest in a museum or in a place where you can walk and talk and there are things to spur conversation, that would be a good start. Mass Street in Lawrence is a good walk as well. The night would probably end at a coffee house maybe for a drink. Obviously this would work for a first date but I think that is a good start.

Another thing I that got my mind going tonight was a tweet that someone had Re-Tweeted. It said, "Future wife or girlfriend: we will be singing lots of Civil Wars together/to each other - along with dancing under the moonlight." I just thought, wow, I would love to say that to my future significant other. Because I hope the person I am with is thinking the same thing. Do you ever wonder if you have met the person you are going to marry? This is one of those hypotheticals that my friends and I ask from time to time. Almost everyone says no, or I don't think so (unless they are married or engaged). I always respond with I'm not sure. It's easy to assume that every girl I have met and am friends with is not interested in dating because I am still single. I could see myself dating at least 4 of my friends and I know that they will make great wives/mothers. So I can't bring myself to say no, I haven't met that person I will marry. You just never know. Ask Dane how persistence worked for him.

I am sure I could continue on a rant about girls, about dating, about lots of things but I often wonder if it's worth the time. Probably not. With Love, Ian

"And all these demons, they keep me up all night."

Laundry Room

"Last night I dreamt the whole night long

I woke with a head full of songs

I spent the whole day, I wrote 'em down

But its a shame, Tonight I'll burn the lyrics

'Cause every chorus was your name"

Laundry Room by The Avett Brothers.

This song and its lyrics fit many nights for me. Or at least what I hope those nights with you could be.

Living A Good Story

Instead of doing another post about vacation stories I decided to go in a different direction. A couple of weeks ago it was a my birthday and I spent it in Wichita. I went out with friends and it wasn't a bad time. The next day we found out that a man who was supposed to go out with us had died in a car crash on his way home for a wedding. At the same time I started reading "A Million Miles In A Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. There is a section of the book that deals with death. He said (and I am paraphrasing) that people are considered to have died young if their life was worth living, that they were someone who made a difference. I didn't try to think much about it because it can be a troubling topic to think about honestly. But it's a topic that I can't get away from while I am in Colorado. My Grandfather passed away eight years ago and I doubt there is a single member of my family that can visit that special place without thinking about all the memories with Blackie.

How do you lead a good life? I would give anything to know that when I die people say, "He led a great life. He helped people become better. He was a great friend." I couldn't or should say, I didn't always expect people to say that about me. Not all of those things anyway. It's not always easy to change the way you act or change the way people perceive you. No one will ways be 100% changed. Ask an alcoholic how hard it is to stay away from the drink. It is easy for me to think about how easy life used to be, doing whatever I wanted and not caring about how it would affect others or affect my future. But I feel like it would be a waste of a person, a waste of a good life if I didn't stop trying to be the best person I can possibly be. I read an interesting fact in Don's book. "The human body essentially recreates itself every six months. Nearly every cell of hair and skin and bone dies and another is directed to its former place. You are not who you were last November." Change is possible. In fact it's nature.

So how did that post turn from death to that last paragraph? I just hope my life ends up being as good as my Grandfather's was. He was, along with my Dad, one of the greatest men I have known. They changed lives every day. They taught kids life lessons that they will never forget. I can only hope that I am half of the man that they are/were. I don't want to think about death, other than hoping that when my time comes people will say, "He led a life full of happiness. He affected the lives of people in a positive way."

Vacay Day 4

Today was by far the most interesting day of vacation. We went on another hike up the Tonahutu Trail in Rocky Mountain National Park to start the day. It was a trail that I hadn't hiked in years and, while pretty boring, it was a beautiful trail to hike again. After that we took my Grandma up to the Grand Lake Lodge which had been closed for a few years until new owners were found. We made it about halfway up before we had to turn around because Mimi couldn't handle it. They have clear-cut all the dead pine trees away from the road because of the possibility they would fall on the road. If you haven't ever heard about the death of the pine trees in Colorado you should look into it. It's sad, especially for families like mine. Mimi cried so much because of the devastation. It was just too much for her to handle.

My family helped cook dinner tonight and that was a fun time. We all sat outside and enjoyed the evening. I took the kids to play putt-putt which was an interesting time. The kids were a handful and it took a lot of patience to keep everyone in line. Much like a classroom. Andy, Sherri and Erik all got here tonight which was great. They are the people I miss the most because of the distance. I wish I could see them more often than two or three times a year. Andy, Mike, JD, Ryan and I went to the bars and had some drinks and told some great stories. Andy, Ryan and I stayed after everyone and talked about life and raising kids and living a good life. It was a great night. I love my family so much. I wouldn't trade them for anything in this world.

Currently Listening To: Up All Night by Blink 182

Vacay Day 3

Today was a sunny and perfect day. The weather was just warm enough to not need a jacket but everyone who spent time on the beach just walked back with a nice sunburn. This morning we hiked the East Inlet Trail up to Adam's Falls and the big meadow. This is a trail we have hiked every year we have been here. There is a marker where all of the grandkids posed for pictures and I can remember most of the kids in the picture this year as babies. It's crazy how time flys. I took a nap during the afternoon while everyone went shopping since I had gone yesterday and it was nice. I spent some time down at the beach watching the kids build sandcastles and watched people taking sailboating classes. It got cloudy this afternoon so I'm hoping a quick shower is heading through. I love the rain smell here.

One of my favorite stories from yesterday was from the fishing trip most of the kids took. My Dad had snagged a trout that was, as he described, the biggest damn trout he had ever had on his line. Now, my father has been coming to Grand Lake for well over 30 years so that is saying something. My Dad was trying to keep from tangling his line with Peyton's as my cousin Ryan was trying to grab a net to catch the fish. My uncle JD was yelling at someone to "man-up" and get into the water to catch the damn fish when it got into the shallow water and got enough slack on the line to get free. Ryan is an avid fisherman and was pissed that a fish that big got away. Visibly pissed for the rest of the night. That just doesn't happen with him around. My uncle JD was giving him shit, telling him he thought he let the fish get free because it was bigger than anything he had caught so far. He also teased him about school, telling him "Aren't you going to Hayden (Topeka) next year?" It was agreat story that was re-told over supper and had everyone laughing, except Ryan. He got over it though and caught some decent trout today.

Hope everyone is enjoying their week.

The Adam's Falls Marker

The Big Meadow, it's really flooded this year so we couldn't get out into it and take our yearly picture on the old fallen tree.

Currently Listening To: Re: Stacks by Bon Iver

Vacay Day 2

The mountains always take my breath away. Day two was spent driving from Denver up into the mountains and into the great town of Grand Lake. The drive is just beautiful. Once we get our first view of Lake Gramby, it feels like home. Mount Baldy over looks Shadow Mountain Lake and is a perfect view. We walked down the boardwalk downtown and went down and watched the kids swim in the lake. It was a pretty relaxing day all around.