Murdered Son

Murdered Son by John Mark McMillan

Glory to One
God’s murdered Son
Who paid for my resurrection
Once from the dust, once from the grave
Daughters and sons from the ashes you’ve raised
And hidden our faults even from your own face
And scattered our debt upon the waves

How He Loves: A Story

This video is such an amazing and emotional one. The song is one of my favorites to sing and play and this video just explains what the song means to its writer.

Struggle

Tonight has been a night of struggle for me. It has been hard because I saw someone today for the first time in a couple of years and, while I had never forgotten how much they meant to me, I had pretty much given up on them. It's a sad thing when you give up on someone that you once considered one of your very best friends. It takes a lot for me to give up on a friend and I'm not sure that I have given up on anyone else in my life. That is why tonight has been a struggle. How can I consider myself a truly great friend if I give up on someone? Shouldn't I always try to get through to them, no matter what it takes? Shouldn't I always let them know that they can always tell me what is going on in their life, no matter how bad it is?

Tyler,

I know that what you did was for the best, at least for you. But what hurt so much was the fact that you never just told us. I expected more from my best friend. After all these years and all I want is an explanation. Is that too much to ask from someone who you were so close to? I guess for some people it is too much to ask. Maybe I gave up on you because you had given up on us, and yourself. That doesn't make seeing you any less painful. At least act like you ditched us 5 years ago, that you never returned a call or made an effort to visit us. I forgive you, I will never stop believing in you or being your friend, but please, just give me an explanation. I just want my friend back after all these years.

Now Playing: Hide Away by Ben Rector

One of those days

Tonight is one of those nights when things just weigh on your mind and you can't sleep. Combined with my room being hot, I'm up and not close to sleep. Today started out as a really good day. I was teaching my kindergarteners and had a good day with them. I had my first midterm in Linguistics as well. I did, in my opinion, a good job on it. Thankfully we were allowed a "cheat sheet" for our test and that allowed me some luck. However, on my way home I got my first ever speeding ticket. It really put a damper on the day I had going. One of the highlights of my day was getting the Blink-182 presale package that I ordered. I got the album when it leaked but if you ordered their cd and t-shirt you would get a free, surprise gift. The gift could be anything from picks, posters to a Mark Hoppus signature bass. In my package I got a signed album insert. #106 of 182. I am pretty excited about that but my day was still kind of ruined because of my ticket.

Since I can't sleep I decided to open up my bible and take a look at some more proverbs. It's something that I have decided to do on days when I am needing a boost. And let me tell you, today was one of those days.

The Busy Life

So a little update of my busy life for everyone, myself included. As crazy as life has been the past month, the next one will be even busier. Here's a look at what is going on in my life....I have sorted by weekends.

October 1st: Nothing! For the first time in almost 2 months I will be at home with no plans.

October 8th: Ushering at Dane and Christy's wedding!

October 15th: Late Night at the Phog, then The DC*B, Gungor, John Mark McMillan Concert

October 22nd: Abandon Kansas opening for Anberlin in Wichita, Joe's bachelor party in KC

October 30th: Playing at SuperSonic Concert in Wichita

November 5th: Ushering at Joe and Anne Marie's Wedding!

November 12th: Nothing

November 19th: Fall Break/Thanksgiving Break......10 days without class!

So yeah, that is 2 weddings, 2 concerts (maybe even a couple during the week), 2 bachelor parties, and not to mention 5 midterms. YIKES!

Camping at Hammock Point

I just got back home from Fall Conference for Christian Challenge and I cannot describe the joy in my heart. It was an incredible two days of worship and ministry that has given me such a great outlook on life. I walked in there nervous to meet new people and hear messages that could be hard to hear but I walked out feeling like I am finally on the right path. The speaker for the weekend was a man with whom everyone seemed to just be drawn to. He had a way of relating stories to our lives, which isn't always easy, and making us laugh right when we were feeling our most vulnerable. The two workshops that I went to really set the standards of how I want to go about setting my life up. The main message that hit home for me was Psalm 23. If you don't know it, please go read it. The relationship of the shepherd and his sheep really built up my understanding of the message and gave me a clear view of my relationship with Jesus. I am one who wanders and it was important to hear that. Understanding where you are faulty is the best way to fix what is broken.

I didn't really meet many new people because I found it hard to really connect with people who weren't in my LIFE Group or in my campus small group. Challenge is really "click-y," like most situations like that. However, the women in my campus group were awesome and I wish we had more time to talk and help each other on our walk. I'm glad we all felt like swapping information so that we can continue keeping up with each other. And ladies, if you are reading this, I added you right away because you are all awesome and so helpful.

I will end this post with a verse that has really been on my heart this past week, especially after this weekend. The song is called "While We Sing" off the new Leeland album. The song is fantastic and builds up to this bridge that just gets me going.

"Church arise, arise and shine, shake yourself from the dust, God is calling you to go."

Grace and Truth

I'm beginning to think that most of my posts will come on tuesdays from now on. Tuesdays, of course, is the night that I have LIFE Group each week. A couple weeks ago I gave my reasons for joining one and after three meetings I can already see a huge improvement in my life. As Brock and I were talking about tonight, it is hard to describe how amazing LIFE Group is. I could explain what goes on and how it makes me feel when I leave but it just doesn't get across to people. I have heard Brock talk about going for a year now and my reaction every time went something like, "Oh that's great buddy. I'm happy for you." I wasn't sure how much of an impact it would have on me because I'm not as devout as most people there, or at least I didn't think I was. It turns out that something like this was just what I needed every week.

It is hard to explain what kinds of connections happen on my tuesday nights but it feels like brutal honesty. There's no lying to people, no hiding anything. Everyone is open and doesn't feel judged. As I found out tonight, most people there struggle with, will struggle with, or have struggled with the same demons that I have in my life. It's comforting to know that, no matter what preconceived notions I may have about these people, they are just like me.

Grace and Truth. You can't have one without the other. Tonight's lesson on John 1:1-18 was our first in-depth look at the Gospel of John and those two words were a big part of it. The whole time we were discussing that I had the lyrics to Rhythms of Grace by Hillsong stuck in my head. "I'm caught in the rhythms of grace, They overcome all of my ways, Realigning each step everyday." It was a powerful night.