Wednesday, November 28, 2012

A New Path Created

I have started this post about twenty different ways, not really knowing where I wanted to take it. Post-breakup days are always filled with time spent wondering about what ifs and what could have beens. These days, however, are filled with thoughts about where my path is headed, about what kind of story I am leaving for the world.  Distance changed everything about my relationship with Emily and with that comes a different thought process to breaking up. I can remember four years ago when I ended my last serious relationship and how I felt; remembering how much it ached and how I was living a life down the wrong path. These days I don't feel that way.  I find myself wondering if it is because of my advanced age, my closer relationship with God (and by closer I mean I have one now), or because the distance just made it easier to move on. 

I am reading A Million Miles In A Thousand Years by Donald Miller for the third time. The first time made me want to be spontaneous and have fun. The second time I started to pick out important pieces, advice on how to live a better life/story. This time though, I am finding passages and tidbits on how to become a better character. Amazing things can happen when you give stories or music multiple chances to blow you away, to reach different parts of your mind. I know a musician who recommends listening to an album, in order, three times before you decide how good it is. I find this to be true for any craft. Donald Miller is one of those writers that always leaves me with something new to process. Songs by Mumford and Sons are that way as well. 

One passage that I found to be enlightening in A Million Miles In A Thousand Years was a single line that reads, "The stories we tell ourselves are very different from the stories we tell the world." Basically, other people cannot perceive our thoughts, they cannot read our minds. Sometimes body language and actions can give our feelings away but most of the time people are left guessing how we truly feel. I believe people need to be more open and share their stories, share their thoughts and emotions with the people around them. It is sometimes easier to fight personal battles and demons by ourselves, because we are embarrassed by what we are going through. However, there will always be people who are fighting the same battles, struggling with the same faults that you are.